2044-00002: Talons GM Has a Special Message for All You Free Agent Baseball Players Out There in Computer Land

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

The Talons have not had a good time lately. In addition to the injury woes of SP Don Smith, the club has not had much luck in attracting free agents. And the Reclusive Talons GM believes he knows the reason why.

"It's because these free agents are entitled, whiny, greedy heaps of shit!!"

When asked to elaborate, the GM didn't dissapoint. "We offer these guys money. Lots of it. More than we can afford, actually. And what do they do? They say things like 'You're gonna have to add more coin to get me to sign here' or 'Good luck finding a first baseman'. I mean, what kind of crap is that? I'm just tired of the attitude. How about cutting down on the snide remarks when I just made you a 66 million dollar offer? Dirty, money-grubbing heaps of shit!"

Just then, someone spoke up and made a point of reminding the GM that his statements could discourage other Free Agents from signing with the Talons.

"What are you talking about??" the GM responded. "These quote 'players' are nothing more than a few kilobytes inside of the commissioner's computer! They can't perceive reality, let alone comprehend what I'm saying right now! So if I call these guys Idiotic, shit-eating douche nozzles, how will they ever know? There's no way that those monumentally stupid bow-legged bastards will ever know what I say about them. So all you fake internet baseball players can fuck off!"

"Oh, and one more thing. We'd like to sincerely thank veteran SP Cisco Morales for signing with us. Welcome to the Talons, we're glad to have you!"

[shoeless.db]

I swear to the gods that if Cisco gets hurt under your watch...

[recte44]

Ping @Ted

[jleddy]

"It's because these free agents are entitled, whiny, greedy heaps of shit!!"

Hear, hear!

[Ted]

I swear to the gods that if Cisco gets hurt under your watch...

I had this thought. Cisco's had a good run. And he's rebounded remarkably after Shoeless took away the short porch in RF. Having a bomb go off i nyour throwing shoulder isn't the way anyone wants to go out, but in reality, injury is what ends most pitching careers.

[RonCo]

It's better to burn out than to fade away, right?