2043-00017: Talons Closer Mitchell Purssell is Pretty Pissed Off That He Won't Win Fireman of the Year This Season

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

No one cares about actual closers anymore.

With a proliferation of "stoppers" and the like, the traditional role of closer is somewhat muddy in today's BBA. Many relievers are taking on a hybrid role, pitching at all times and situations in order to hold a lead, not just the ninth inning. That's great for those pitchers, their teams, and various WAR totals and Awards. But 23 year old Talons closer Mitchell Purssell isn't too happy about these new fangled relievers.

"I don't know, man. The best guy is supposed to be the closer, right?" Purssell asked rhetorically. "I saved 35 out of 37 chances, struck out 100 guys in 72 innings, and had a 0.88 ERA. Those are Eckersley numbers, man. I even had a 3.8 WAR, whatever that means. I guess the baseball nerds in this league know all about that stuff."

"Anyway, like any other year I'd win the Fireman. But not this year. All of these posers with less than 20 saves are gonna win it. I don't get it. I guess I'm old school. The closer pitches the ninth, finishes the game, and gets rewarded if he is the best at what he does. But not now! Too many nerds in charge of these BBA teams nowadays!"

Purssell walked away. "I need a beer."

[recte44]

Nerds!

[CTBrewCrew]

IPA Mitch?