2043-00015: Talons GM to FPL: "DROP DEAD" (Also, [redacted])

jiminyhopkins · Post by **jiminyhopkins** » Thu Aug 13, 2020 2:48 pm

Phoenix, AZ--

FPL Triggers GM (Again)

The reclusive GM of the Phoenix Talons was triggered again today upon hearing that the Florida Prospect League will soon be starting up again.

"Florida... 'Prospect' League?? Is that some sort of joke?" the rant began.

"Someone please tell me why I should get all of my best prospects, ship them off to Homestead, and hope to hell they don't get injured? I have never seen a shred of data that suggests the FPL is good for development, like some the the BBA nerds claim. I've had guys get injured. I've had other guys get summarily released when the FPL season comes to an end, even though we still have team control. I've never had anyone 'bump' because they played 30-some games in a row without a day off. It's a total and complete joke."

"Mark my words," he continued. "I will submit the worst roster imaginable. I'll have backup first basemen as starting pitchers. I'll play catchers in center field. I. Will. Tank. This. League. And there's nothing they can do about it!"

Don Smith's Tow Truck Never Actually Showed Up

Last team news, we learned that a month or two ago, Talons starting pitcher Don Smith had to miss a start due to a flat tire as he was on his way to the stadium. The Talons GM was quoted as saying the team excused him from the game and called Smith a tow truck to help him out.

Now, reports are coming in that the tow truck in question never arrived. Smith, after watching a couple of youtube videos on the topic, then attempted to change the tire himself. As he was trying to loosen the lugnuts, the wrench slipped and he suffered a torn labrum, severely injuring one of the best young pitchers in the JL. A pitcher that the Talons gave up an impressive amount of offense, in trade, to get. Thereby crippling their lineup and turning it into one of the worst hitting teams in the BBA.

An anonymous team official had this to say: "Wow, that's what happened to Smithy? Huh. That sucks."

Fat Nige · Post by **Fat Nige** » Thu Aug 13, 2020 3:17 pm

I would have thought that having backup first basemen as starting pitchers would increase the risk of injuries lol? If all your backups are injured trying to work out how the hell they pitch then all your batting starters will get injured too as they have to play every game due to the backups being on the IL?

jiminyhopkins · Post by **jiminyhopkins** » Thu Aug 13, 2020 4:25 pm

Meh the whole roster will be 20 POT guys so who cares if they get hurt lol

Fat Nige · Post by **Fat Nige** » Thu Aug 13, 2020 5:07 pm

I bet their mothers do, you heartless Victorian slave driver lol. They’ll soon be telling their kids not to go near that nasty man

Post by **RonCo** » Fri Aug 14, 2020 3:26 pm

Love the Blinker.

GoldenOne · Post by **GoldenOne** » Fri Aug 14, 2020 3:42 pm

Or, you could just trade all your decent prospects to Charlotte and we’ll ‘mature’ them for you and trade them back to you. Our vig is very reasonable....

Post by **CTBrewCrew** » Sun Aug 16, 2020 10:50 am

Ha! Watch him win it

The Brewster

The Brewster

2043-00015: Talons GM to FPL: "DROP DEAD" (Also, [redacted])

2043-00015: Talons GM to FPL: "DROP DEAD" (Also, [redacted])

Re: 2043-00015: Talons GM to FPL: "DROP DEAD" (Also, The Tow Truck That Was Supposed to Help Don Smith Never Arrived)

Re: 2043-00015: Talons GM to FPL: "DROP DEAD" (Also, The Tow Truck That Was Supposed to Help Don Smith Never Arrived)

Re: 2043-00015: Talons GM to FPL: "DROP DEAD" (Also, [redacted])

Re: 2043-00015: Talons GM to FPL: "DROP DEAD" (Also, [redacted])

Re: 2043-00015: Talons GM to FPL: "DROP DEAD" (Also, [redacted])

Re: 2043-00015: Talons GM to FPL: "DROP DEAD" (Also, [redacted])

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