2043-00014: Talons News Roundup: Talons Get Participation-Shamed, Also Talons are Hearing Rumors of a Devastating Injury
Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2020 2:48 pm
Phoenix, AZ--
The Talons have been Participation-Shamed
Never a franchise to be especially prolific with their articles, the Talons for the most part spend each season making their exports, voting for all their own players in awards, half-heartedly submitting HOF ballots, and averaging Team News totals in the low to mid teens. Every year. In fact, the Talons average less than one missed export per season. The club participates in trade talks, signs free agents, makes waiver claims, and even logs into slack every once in a while. Hell, there's even been a podcast or two.
But it's not enough.
"I can't believe these people want MORE of this shit," the reclusive Talons GM said. "I mean, we post crap. Literally no thought goes into writing these Team News articles. And yet, for some reason, these plebs think that our content is amazing and somehow contributes to the 'rich history' of the BBA."
"Seriously? Wow. Must be a low bar around here. Imagine if we actually tried!" the GM said incredulously.
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Massive, Career Threatening Injury?
The Talons have heard vague reports of a massive, devastating injury to one of their best young players. An intern with the Front Office had this to say: "Yeah, we've heard that all over talk radio and social media. But who can trust all of that these days? It's all lies and biased propaganda. The Talons do not run their franchise based on rumor."
Again the GM was reached for comment.
"Oh you want more participation, eh? Allright, I'll bite. Yeah, we've heard people whining about some huge injury that threatens a career. But is it true? Who knows. I mean, we still have a full roster of 27 players, so there's that. And in fact, the team has been playing a little better lately, so its not like this alleged injury is affecting the ol' win total."
"The only weird thing that comes to mind is, we had one of our starting pitchers miss his turn a few weeks back. He called up and said he had a flat tire, so we gave him an excused absence and called him a tow truck. But other than that everything's been peachy."
"Actually, come to think of it, I haven't heard from Don Smith in a while. I wonder if that tow truck ever showed up."
The Talons have been Participation-Shamed
Never a franchise to be especially prolific with their articles, the Talons for the most part spend each season making their exports, voting for all their own players in awards, half-heartedly submitting HOF ballots, and averaging Team News totals in the low to mid teens. Every year. In fact, the Talons average less than one missed export per season. The club participates in trade talks, signs free agents, makes waiver claims, and even logs into slack every once in a while. Hell, there's even been a podcast or two.
But it's not enough.
"I can't believe these people want MORE of this shit," the reclusive Talons GM said. "I mean, we post crap. Literally no thought goes into writing these Team News articles. And yet, for some reason, these plebs think that our content is amazing and somehow contributes to the 'rich history' of the BBA."
"Seriously? Wow. Must be a low bar around here. Imagine if we actually tried!" the GM said incredulously.
-----
Massive, Career Threatening Injury?
The Talons have heard vague reports of a massive, devastating injury to one of their best young players. An intern with the Front Office had this to say: "Yeah, we've heard that all over talk radio and social media. But who can trust all of that these days? It's all lies and biased propaganda. The Talons do not run their franchise based on rumor."
Again the GM was reached for comment.
"Oh you want more participation, eh? Allright, I'll bite. Yeah, we've heard people whining about some huge injury that threatens a career. But is it true? Who knows. I mean, we still have a full roster of 27 players, so there's that. And in fact, the team has been playing a little better lately, so its not like this alleged injury is affecting the ol' win total."
"The only weird thing that comes to mind is, we had one of our starting pitchers miss his turn a few weeks back. He called up and said he had a flat tire, so we gave him an excused absence and called him a tow truck. But other than that everything's been peachy."
"Actually, come to think of it, I haven't heard from Don Smith in a while. I wonder if that tow truck ever showed up."