2043-00002: Talons, Suddenly Hit With "Markus Tax", Are Forced to Raise Price of World Famous $3 Sushi to Compensate

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

With another offseason comes changes. It always happens that way, and this winter is no exception.

The Talons, fresh off another mediocre (we would say disappointing, but let's face it, everyone kind of expected it) 71-91 season, got to work on 2043, first by accepting the team options of SP Luis Colon (4.2 million) and SP Cesar Aguilar (2.5 million). Both of which, if you use the oft mentioned "2.5 mil per WAR" standard, seem like reasonable deals.

But before the club could make another move, their world came crashing down. One November day, a voice came down from on high and demanded a payment of $29.95 to the Baseball Gods (one of whom is apparently named "Markus"). The reclusive Talons GM was nonplussed. "$29.95? What kind of shit is this? Do they think I'm made out of money? Hell, I just got a message last week that the owner was taking 12 million in profits! I'm broke, dammit!"

According to Talons sources, the sudden expense has forced the team to take drastic action. Starting in 2043, the price of the Talons World Famous $3 Sushi is reportedly being raised to $3.01. It's a tough burden on the fans, but sacrifices must be made. Once the club sells 3000 orders of the newly renamed 'Talons World Famous $3.01 Sushi', the franchise has promised to revert to the original pricing scheme. That, according to Talons team accountants, should make up for the shortfall caused by this "Markus Tax".

The GM continued. "Yeah, sure, I'll pay good money for Minecraft. But a fake baseball sim game? You're out of your mind!!"

"I mean, at least Minecraft is fun."

[DugoutDesperado]

Considering the buyouts, I would have done Aguilar deal without a second thought - that is assuming that I apply a first thought to any of my decisions. Colon would have been on the border line for me, but I am trying to be a supreme cheapskate at the moment.

[RonCo]

$3.01 is a little pricey.

[HoosierVic]

Just for the record, Minecraft actually is fun.

[7teen]

Surely your FI dropped because of the price hike.