2042-13: Talons GM is Constantly Trolled by Malicious OOTP Program Every Time He Logs in to his Computer
Posted: Mon May 11, 2020 8:24 pm
Phoenix, AZ--
It happens every time.
The reclusive Talons GM pulls up his second-hand office chair, sits down at the office desk he found at the local Salvation Army store, and boots up his trusty Windows XP laptop. Yep, it's sim day, and it's time to see how all of the latest moves have panned out for the leader of the BBA's most mediocre team. Anyway, now he.... damn, wait a minute. Firefox needs an update. Shouldn't take too long. Gimme a sec...
Ok, there better. Anyway, next the GM opens his pirated copy of OOTP 20 and begins to download the latest league file. Sure, the GM gets the "sim complete" email like everyone else, but ya gotta download the file to see what really happened. So, after resetting his router and connecting to the internet via a secure wifi connection (with a password that is no less than 56 characters long), he begins to download the 'latest league file'... well, after accepting the "are you sure" prompt beforehand, of course.
And then, like clockwork, it pops up. That little "did you know" blurb at the top of the screen.
Ouch. Right in the feels. You see, despite all of the trades and such that have happened for the Talons this year, the club is still nine games under .500 and in 7th place. Yet the OOTP program sees fit to remind the GM of better days, in this case a year in which the club really didn't do all that much and yet still finished above .500 and all the way up into 4th place.
How does it know? Is the OOTP program sentient? Does it wait until juuuust the right moment to gut-punch the poor Talons GM and remind him of how fruitless his efforts have been of late? How cruel. At least, being a pirated copy, this particular program isn't exactly enriching any developers. But still, it hurts. Every time.
I think I just heard the sound of a VODAK bottle opening up.
It happens every time.
The reclusive Talons GM pulls up his second-hand office chair, sits down at the office desk he found at the local Salvation Army store, and boots up his trusty Windows XP laptop. Yep, it's sim day, and it's time to see how all of the latest moves have panned out for the leader of the BBA's most mediocre team. Anyway, now he.... damn, wait a minute. Firefox needs an update. Shouldn't take too long. Gimme a sec...
Ok, there better. Anyway, next the GM opens his pirated copy of OOTP 20 and begins to download the latest league file. Sure, the GM gets the "sim complete" email like everyone else, but ya gotta download the file to see what really happened. So, after resetting his router and connecting to the internet via a secure wifi connection (with a password that is no less than 56 characters long), he begins to download the 'latest league file'... well, after accepting the "are you sure" prompt beforehand, of course.
And then, like clockwork, it pops up. That little "did you know" blurb at the top of the screen.
How does it know? Is the OOTP program sentient? Does it wait until juuuust the right moment to gut-punch the poor Talons GM and remind him of how fruitless his efforts have been of late? How cruel. At least, being a pirated copy, this particular program isn't exactly enriching any developers. But still, it hurts. Every time.
I think I just heard the sound of a VODAK bottle opening up.
