2041-224: Talons Post 224th Team News of the Season, Breaking Previous Record and Earning a Crap-Ton of PPT to Spend
Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2020 9:40 am
Phoenix, AZ--
It was all smiles and champagne as the Talons Electronic Media And Forum Posting Department celebrated an historic milestone.
Yep, you guessed it: this morning, the club posted its record-breaking 224th Team News of the season.
"Chigago Black Sox? Yellow Springs Nine? Never heard of 'em!" exclaimed a young intern who clearly should give up day-drinking. "Man, we smoked those guys. Now the record will never be broken! And we'll have like 500 points!! YEAH BUDDY!"
After slowly backing away from the clearly deteriorating celebration in the TEMAFPD offices, we decided to see if all of this hoopla was justified. So we did a little research. Apparently, the Nine once posted 223 Newses in a season back in the mid 2030's. So yeah, that's the record to beat. But then we dug a little deeper, bringing all of the resources of the Phoenix Sun Times Post Dispatch ('One of Phoenix's Best Newspapers') Investigative Reporting Bureau to bear.
And we did discover a bit of a problem. You see, there simply aren't 224 Team News articles from the Talons on the forum this season. In fact, there were only seven as this article went to press. We looked around and around. Even checked Slack, Twitter, and TikTok. But no appreciable amount of articles. Just the handful of rather lame postings so far this year.
So, mustering our courage, we ventured back toward the booze soaked celebration still raging, and taking on a decidedly disturbing amount of debauchery, especially given the fact that is was 10:30AM. Upon slowly opening the door and venturing through the copious vape clouds, broken chanpagne bottles, and passed out revelers, we couldn't find a single person coherent enough to give us an answer.
The mystery of the missing 216 Team News articles may never be solved.
(Editors' Note: In the interest of full disclosure, it must be noted that the authors were forced to spell-check the words 'handful' and 'coherent' whilst typing this article. Thank you.)
It was all smiles and champagne as the Talons Electronic Media And Forum Posting Department celebrated an historic milestone.
Yep, you guessed it: this morning, the club posted its record-breaking 224th Team News of the season.
"Chigago Black Sox? Yellow Springs Nine? Never heard of 'em!" exclaimed a young intern who clearly should give up day-drinking. "Man, we smoked those guys. Now the record will never be broken! And we'll have like 500 points!! YEAH BUDDY!"
After slowly backing away from the clearly deteriorating celebration in the TEMAFPD offices, we decided to see if all of this hoopla was justified. So we did a little research. Apparently, the Nine once posted 223 Newses in a season back in the mid 2030's. So yeah, that's the record to beat. But then we dug a little deeper, bringing all of the resources of the Phoenix Sun Times Post Dispatch ('One of Phoenix's Best Newspapers') Investigative Reporting Bureau to bear.
And we did discover a bit of a problem. You see, there simply aren't 224 Team News articles from the Talons on the forum this season. In fact, there were only seven as this article went to press. We looked around and around. Even checked Slack, Twitter, and TikTok. But no appreciable amount of articles. Just the handful of rather lame postings so far this year.
So, mustering our courage, we ventured back toward the booze soaked celebration still raging, and taking on a decidedly disturbing amount of debauchery, especially given the fact that is was 10:30AM. Upon slowly opening the door and venturing through the copious vape clouds, broken chanpagne bottles, and passed out revelers, we couldn't find a single person coherent enough to give us an answer.
The mystery of the missing 216 Team News articles may never be solved.
(Editors' Note: In the interest of full disclosure, it must be noted that the authors were forced to spell-check the words 'handful' and 'coherent' whilst typing this article. Thank you.)