2041-07: Talons Invent Bullshit Minor League Awards to Pad Out Another Team News

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

The Talons don't know how teveryone else does it.

What the Talons mean is, they just don't know how teams put out all of these Team News Articles. It was a struggle, really, a struggle, for the Talons to shove out these seven articles this season. Yes, the PPT's could really go a long way to helping the team, but that doesn't seem to be enough motivation for the Talons Electronic Media And Forum Posting Department to get those articles out.

But hey, seven is better than six, right? So the club decided to join the fray of teams posting awards articles about Minor League players that no one cares about. Without further adeiux, the Talons present the Talons Useless Minor League Awards, 2041 Edition.

Most Worthless Man on the 40 Man: OF Guillermo Ramirez (AAA Ashland)
Yeah, he's not actually good at anything, really. And it's not like the franchise has a defecit in slow corner outfielders. In fact, we can't even remember why we added this guy. Must have been a Rule 5 thing.

Worst Attitude: SS Walt Pierson (S A Daytona Beach)
LOL. This guy is so angry. What a snowflake. Seems that he's mad at his "performance". Well maybe thats because you are topped out at 3/3/1/5/4, cupcake! Oh and get this, the guy's so pissed off that he goes ahead and signs a minor league contract extension. Sucks to be you, Walt!

The Why Do We Even Have This Guy Award: 3B Koki Suto, (INT Vega Baja)
Wow. Did you sign him? No? Did You? What About You??? Well I didn't sign him! The hell I did! *sigh* Well a quick poll around the room has revelaed that no one signed this guy. But his page says that we signed him. So what gives? Why is he here? Are we even paying him? I don't think so. Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away. What a SCRUB.

So there you have it. The Talons had more awards to give out, but a quick scan of the forum shows that these articles are never very long. So why put in the effort? We'll just end it here. Have a nice offseason!

[bschr682]

Hey now if you have a lefty hitting corner OF with a horrendous split, Ramirez can actually be useful.

[RonCo]

Great awards! Or ... not so great ... or ... ahhhhhhhhhh!

[HoosierVic]

The Why Do We Even Have This Guy Award: 3B Koki Suto, (INT Vega Baja)
Wow. Did you sign him? No? Did You? What About You??? Well I didn't sign him! The hell I did! *sigh* Well a quick poll around the room has revelaed that no one signed this guy. But his page says that we signed him. So what gives? Why is he here? Are we even paying him? I don't think so. Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away. What a SCRUB.

Maybe he just drove to the ballpark every day, bought a hat, and joined batting practice. Consider tightening your security ...

[shoeless.db]

Hey, at least my team news bumping minor league awards had pictures.

[GoldenOne]

maybe if you move his office into the basement and take away his red stapler......