2037-18: How Many Talons Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

Reports have filtered out of the Talons organization in recent days that a recent injury suffered by one of the team's premier players was not incurred due to on-field activities.

On May 14th, it was listed in various BBA reports that Talons RF Bartolo Ortiz had suffered "knee inflammation" and would be listed as day-to-day for upwards of a week. However, recent reports indicate that said inflammation was not the result of any baserunning mishap or the like. According to the source, who is yet unnamed, Ortiz injured himself by changing a light bulb.

In the year 2037, incandescent lamps, known as "light bulbs" in the 20th century, have long since fallen out of favor, having been nearly completely replaced by energy efficient LEDs and the like. However, there was a remote corner of the home locker room in Paul D. Lunn Memorial Stadium that featured a single, ceiling mounted light fixture. This fixture had been there for decades, even before the venue was renovated for BBA play in 2029. The lamp had always been left on, and became a sort of good luck charm to the players. Stories had even been written in the local media about the light bulb, which was older than many of the team's players.

However, following May 14th's home victory against Wichita, after which a fair amount of Zimas and Mike's Hard Lemonades had been consumed, Ortiz had noticed that the lucky light bulb had "burned out". (Note: 'burned out' refers to the most common failure mode of old style incandescent lamps, which featured a Tungsten metal filament in an Argon atmosphere.) Saddened that their beloved light source had failed, the Talons players decided to replace it then and there, without filling out a maintenance request.

A chair was procured, and Ortiz stood upon it to reach the failed illuminating device. But the chair was of the rolling variety, and quickly became unstable. Ortiz jumped down from the chair as it rolled from underneath him, and landed in such a way that his knee was sore, having never actually reached the "light bulb".

So far, that corner of the clubhouse remains slightly darker than usual, since no one has yet found a similar "bulb" to replace the "burned out" one. But at least we have shed some light as to the real cause of Bartolo's injury.

Go Talons!

[Ted]

This is my favorite news of 2037.

[Spiccoli]

Holy El OH El...

I need to step up my boring TNs.

[RonCo]

Definitely enlightening.

[jiminyhopkins]

Definitely enlightening.

It was, after all, your idea. Or rather, your "bright" idea.

[RonCo]

I take credit for the headline, but the inner brilliance of the story you created shines brightly through it!

[7teen]

Good one!

I was reading and was thinking "well if these light bulbs are out dated, where will they find a replacement" and then BAM, you hit me with it in the end!

[Lane]

Beautiful