2034-21: Talons Not Sure What to Write About

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

Team Newses are very important. Through the PPT they generate, they can get you cash, increase budget space, turn a starter into a reliever, or even make a dumb guy like Timofei Bakitski a little bit smarter. There are teams out there that write like 100 Newses a year, and the Talons wonder how they do it. Phoenix wishes it had the motivation and the talent to generate that much output. Because we sure could use the cash, we have a starter we'd like to convert, and, did we mention that Bakitski like really needs some tutoring?

Anyway, We suppose we could turn this into a listicle of some sort. And no, we are not referring to whatever John Kruk has one of. We mean a listicle, like the sort that Buzzfeed publishes as "content". It's a collection of statements that, when put together, satisfies the word count of an article. But not much else. So here goes.

Things You May Not Know About the Talons

1. Bartolo Ortiz is really good. He's still 20 years old and has hitting ratings that rival Carlton Winson's. You know, the guy he was traded for.

2. Luis Baca still haunts the team's pocketbook. They're paying him $12 million this season. Next season? You guessed it: 12 mil.

3. Paul D. Lunn Memorial Stadium was named after the GM's great uncle, who was shot down over Europe during WW2.

4. Ignacio Rodriguez is hurt again. Yes, we said AGAIN. Did we mention we traded Feliciano Rafael for him??

5. Joe Pike was one of the worst players in the BBA last year, with -1.2 wars in, wait for it, only 88 at bats. This year? He's at +2.3 wars with nearly 20 homers and 40 steals as the full time 3B. Carlton who??

6. Domenic Wyatt is having by far the worst season of his career. The fan favorite is hitting .173/.293/.351 in 121 games. And that's after his .995 OPS so far in September.

7. The Talons haven't made a dime in nearly 6 seasons of play. Yep, they'll even lose money this year. In fact, the club has burnt through nearly $50 million of their owner's money since they came into existence. Ain't fake baseball great?!

Well there you have it. Maybe we'll have more to write about when we're eliminated from the postseason next sim.

Go Talons!

[jiminyhopkins]

#3 is legit, folks...

[RonCo]

#3 ... what was he flying?

[jiminyhopkins]

Don't have the details. According to family, who have always been vague on the subject, it was a bomber of some sort. Possibly B-24. In fact, I never even knew that site I linked to was on the internet until I googled his name 20 minutes ago.

[RonCo]

Interesting. Do you know what his role was?

[felipe]

According to a quick internet search...B-24 liberators

The bomber group briefly had B-17’s in 1942, but they were moved on by late ‘42.

I wouldn’t be able to write about Phoenix either...

Why don’t you move?

Maybe you’d stop losing cash too...

[bcslouck]

Ortiz is a monster and I knew he would be. But he struggled for some reason after a great rookie campaign and playoffs. I don't regret trading him.

[RonCo]

Goal 1: build and protect the revenue stream.

[niles08]

Phoenix, AZ--

1. Bartolo Ortiz is really good. He's still 20 years old and has hitting ratings that rival Carlton Winson's. You know, the guy he was traded for.

I suppose the only difference is Winston can actually field? lol....Either way...Ortiz would look pretty good as a Hawk.