2032-05 Talons Team News: Talons Write A Team News

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

We had to go to the Board Index just to see the last time we wrote a Team News, because we forgot how long ago it was. Turns out, there was a Team News written on August 14th. Its subject? A Team News Boycott. Apparently we had decided to no longer write any Team News's "as long as the Team sucks", to quote the last Team News.

So does the Team suck? In this Team News, we decided to take a half hearted look at the Team. And if the Team doesn't suck as much as we thought the Team sucked back in August, well, isn't that worthy of a Team News?

Sure.

SO here is some Team News, for all of you Team News fans out there. The Team did in fact suck, finishing with the 3rd or 4th worst record in the BBA. There is a tiebreaker with Valencia in there somewhere, but we couldn't be bothered to figure it out. The Team will therefore get the 3rd or 4th overall pick in the 2033 Ammy Draft, which will no doubt be worth a Team News of its own. That future 3rd or 4th overall Pick Team News will count toward the new Team News requirement of 6 Team News's, but for next year. We have four Team News's so far this year, and this Team News makes 5 Team News's. So we will need one more Team News to reach the minimum number of 6 for this year, which we pledged to do in our last Team News, written back in August.

But did the Team suck as much as we thought? Yes. But not every aspect of the Team sucked in 2032, so the following portion of this Team News will try to focus on the positive parts of the Team, which did not suck. And that's worth some News.

The Team went 13-14 in the month of September, which our sabermetricianist department has determined is close to a .500 record for the month. Current team #1 prospect SS Tu-fu Yong was called up for the Roster Expansion Sim, and he actually hit .330 with 4 HR and 14 RBI in 25 games, being worth 0.7 Wars. Our aforementioned Sabermetricianist department has determined that 0.7 Wars means that Yong was worth almost a full win more than a replacement SS in that month. Crazy stuff, huh? Newsworthy.

Also, League MVP Carlton Winson (in our own personal League, anyway) had another bang up year, hitting 51 home runs and being just about the most personable quiet, aloof, and moody guy we've ever met. It's almost charming, really. Then there is ace pitcher Ignacio Rodriguez, who has a great season of his own and actually recorded a sub-3 ERA. Our Advanced Analytical Department has determined that he actually gave up less than 3 earned runs for every 9 innings he pitched. Incredible.

In other News, befitting a Team News article, The Talons actually voted against the ROY candidate that the Commish told everyone to vote for. We can't remember his name (because we didn't vote for him), but the Team is really looking forward to the forthcoming investigation, the results of which may just garner a Team News of its own.

Speaking of Team News's, we just remembered that we need to save some of this stuff for a 6th Team News article, so that we can meet the Team News minimum of 6 Team News articles per season. So we will stop here and try to come up with more amazing facts by the end of the Landis, or Geogeghan, or whatever the Finals is named.

Stay Tuned for the next Team News!

Go Talons!

[udlb58]

[jiminyhopkins]

Just trying to pad the ol' post count guys.

[RonCo]

Tell me again about the padding?

[jiminyhopkins]

If I reach 1067 posts by Friday, I get two points. So that's my goal. Plus I need another Team News because we now need 6 per season for some reason.

[RonCo]

Did you know that every time you reply to a post, your post count goes up?

[recte44]

Did you know that every time you reply to a post, your post count goes up?

That's like the whole reason behind the reward!

[usnspecialist]

Did you know that every time you reply to a post, your post count goes up?

Who knew?!?! Thanks for the tip ron

[RonCo]

No problem, rook.

[RonCo]

Now give me back Rojas.

[usnspecialist]

Now give me back Rojas.