2058-011: Talons Trade for Some Scrub Who Will Probably Be Rated 4/8/8/5/3 Next Season

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

The Talons, in desperate need of pitching now that SP Damian Theophanous has been lost for the season, went out and traded for exactly not that.

No, for some reason, the Talons violated their own sacred oath to not trade anymore this season, were once again seduced by the crack cocaine of 10 power and decided to trade for 3B Felix Parreno of Des Moines. In return, International Academy outfielder Amir Baha Al Din was sent over to the Kernals, along with veteran LF Stewart Illingworth for salary relief.

Bad move, say Talons pundits. Word on the street is that the next ratings package will be decidedly unkind to low contact/high power hitters, so look forward to Parreno settling into the ratings shown in the headline. After he fails to opt out of his remaining 3 years and $45 million, naturally. But don't worry, say the Talons. This trade will do absolutely nothing to dissuade the tradition of the club losing the 4th WC slot on the final sim, as always.

Go Talons!

[BaseClogger]

Parreno plays ok defense so he doesn't have to OPS .900 to be a good player. I thought what you gave up looked a little light so makes sense you'd break your sacred oath.

[aaronweiner]

Well, it's your own fault. In a day and age where I can't type the words "olive oil" into my computer without getting forty seven ads for Bertolli, you're repeatedly shouting into cyberspace "f--- your game and all your new editions." The fact that the game f---s you back is just a matter of the Information Age.

Actual picture of Sean Marko shouting into space about OOTP 25:

Disclaimer: This post is basically a pile of BS. Also, for whoever's out there listening, OOTP is the greatest game in the history of games.

[trmmilwwi]

Instant classic post and response. Love you guys.

[jiminyhopkins]

Thats OK, I haven't actually paid the Markus Tax for like 15 seasons now.

Dark Web for the win!

[Dington]

Thats OK, I haven't actually paid the Markus Tax for like 15 seasons now.

Dark Web for the win!

Uh oh. Here they come now!