Sometimes the best plan is the one you don't make.
It was the eve of the 2051 offseason. River Monsters GM Alan Ehlers was in his office finalizing plans for the hot stove season. Plans he had been filling a notebook with for the past year. His lieutenants were given strict orders to build a bare bones roster so they could spend money on minor league free agents, go hard in International free agency, and replenish bonus funds. They knew there were going to be a lot of good free agents to be had. But signing one or two big names made absolutely no sense. There was no way they could sign enough to be competitive, right?
The phone then rings in the midnight hour. The insomniac GM slowly picks up the phone.
Ehlers: Who dis?
Assistant GM Taqi Zaimukhes: Sir, I have some news about some potential free agents that could effect our offseason plans.
Ehlers: Taqi, we've gone over this a million times. We are rebuilding team. We cut payroll, tank, load up on high draft picks and throw money in IFA. That's what bad teams do. Rinse, wash, repeat. If you don't believe me, read the countless posts by Ron and Ted that tell you that is what you are supposed to do. I mean they are tried and true experts with countless championships between the them. Well, ok maybe just two championships in a combined 50 something years.
Taqi: Yes Sir, but we all know that championships are just a meaningless counting stats.
Ehlers: Why are you my assistant GM again? Oh yeah, cause you're cheap and get along well with my real staff you meaningless assistant GM. Now tell me what you have to say.
Taqi: Well, Sir, the UMEBA is contracting and it's going to set off an influx of fresh free agent names.
Ehlers: Oh, so I'm about to get excited over Diesel Dave now? Only an idiot would give him a BBA contract again.
Taqi: No, I mean there are some really exciting youngish players available. We could essentially spread some money around and build a young core that we are lacking. Combine that with the young guys we have like Brooks, Benson, Moten, Barber, Elmer, ect.. and we might help close the gap and quicken the rebuild. Then just add some cheap one year deals in the spring and wuolah.
Ehlers: Hmm, you might be on to something.
Ehlers hangs up the phone and stares at the notebook containing offseason plans, After about 20 seconds, he rips up the notebook and breaks out a new one.
Ehlers: Good thing it's only 1 am. I'm about to go deep into this rabbit hole and see what I can pull out.
Update
Fast forward to late April 2051 and early results of the River Monster UMEBA invasion are looking good.
25 year old utility infielder Matthew Hewat is currently second in the BBA in hitting with a .410 average. He is currently on pace for 35 doubles and a 4.4 WAR. His defense has been a little shakier than we projected. But some of that has to do with learning 2nd and now 3rd base on the fly.
25 year old DH Jesper Sonderlei has also performed a bit better than we expected. Batting .357/.393/.518 thus far.
24 year old second baseman Luke Collingridge has been a pleasant surprise after being added to this list via the rule 5 draft. "Deeb" is hitting .333 in 39 at bats and has played Zimmer level defense(6.26 RNG, 2.1 ZR, and 1.088 EFF in just 92 innings played) in his growing role.
26 year old Corner Infielder Bert Cleaver has been the one bust so far. Hitting just .172/.246/.431. We knew the average and OBP were going to be low, he should have more power then the 28 HR he is on pace for. Hopefully some more games in some of the Frick bandboxes will bump up that total. To his credit, Cleaver has played very solid defense at first and has been decent at 3B.
The lone pitcher is highly touted 21 year old closer Sebastian Seabert. Seabert has been decent so far. He's been lights out versus righties(.077/.133/.154) but has gotten lit up by lefties(.389/.450/.556). His strikeout rate isn't nearly as high as you would think, and his two stamina has created several awkward moments where he comes into a game to close and can't finish the inning out. Ultimately it's on the manager, or GM in this case to put him in situations to succeed.
