No PP: Bubble Wrap & Buyer’s Remorse: River Monsters Patch Together Stretch Run

[ae37jr]

September 17, 2063 Twin Cities When the River Monsters claimed reliever Arnold Cantrell off waivers for a cool $5.75 million, the thinking was simple: pay cash, keep the prospects. It looked like a smart gamble at the time. Cantrell had a track record and came free of strings. But now, with his elbow barking and his ERA ballooned to 8.14, the deal looks more like a sunk cost than a bullpen boost.

"It's one of those moves you make hoping lightning strikes," said manager Gerald Brandt. "Instead, we got rained on." With Cantrell now out for the year, the River Monsters are left holding the bill and wondering if next season might offer a return on the investment. Maybe his injury explains his struggles. But right now? He's a pricey line item on the IL.

And Cantrell's not the only arm being shelved. Yoshii Takuda, who quietly owns the best ERA in the rotation at 3.50, has also been shut down, but in this case, it's more chess than triage. Takuda suffered a mild back strain in his last start, and while the injury isn't serious, the River Monsters are taking no chances.

"We're not benching him because we're cocky," said manager Gerald Brandt, "we're doing it because we've got options." With two off days left and a rotation that's surprisingly even from top to bottom, the team can run a four-man group the rest of the way. The move lines up Erik Brooks to pitch the regular season finale and keeps Jerry Stone in position to start a potential Game 163. If the playoff spot is clinched early, both pitchers will be held back to start Games 1 and 2 of the Geoghegan Round.

"We're threading the needle," Brandt said. "This isn't about assuming anything, it's about being ready no matter how it plays out. In fact, Takuda is available to piggy back Henry Wemp or Tokugawa Yamashita that last week of the season if push comes to shove."

Of course, any time Takuda's name comes up, there's going to be some comedy. He's been called "the most bubble-wrapped player in baseball" for good reasonand this week, it became literal. Team prankster Jorge Duran struck again, stealing Takuda's pants before a scheduled bullpen session and wrapping the wrecked starter in several layers of bubble wrap.

"I figured if he can't find his pants, he can't get hurt," Duran said, laughing. "Call it preventative maintenance."

Catcher Mat Malone was there to witness the scene. "He looked like an damn Amazon package," he said. "You bump into him and all you hear is pop-pop-pop."

Even Takuda had to laugh. "Honestly, I felt safer than usual," he joked. "Might keep this look for the playoffs."

[JRamirez]

Kurt called it before the season began, Cantrell's starting days are over. But his relieving days too? Maybe. I was glad when you claimed him, despite the positive impact he had on DM the last 2-3 seasons.

[ae37jr]

I don't know if this is a real thing or not. One of the things I liked about Cantrell is that he is a sparkplug. I added him and called up another sparkplug(for a total of 3) and we have been 18-8 since.