Twin Cities River Monsters' Terribly Named and Too Hard to Type News Blog for Baseball Stories 2045.2

GM: Ted Schmidt

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Twin Cities River Monsters' Terribly Named and Too Hard to Type News Blog for Baseball Stories 2045.2

Post by Ted » Fri Nov 20, 2020 7:17 pm

Sun Jan 1st, 2044
Recalci T. M. Thrope

Good afternoon, River Monsters fans. Or good whenever you read this. If you read it. I don't care. It's January first and the dust has started to settle from the tornado of free agent spending that came out of our new front office. If you're anything like me, you're probably a little shellshocked. Well, actually if you're like me, you're sitting in bed in your pajamas, wondering how to concisely summarize the inane rambling gibberish you've been receiving once a day from the human seizure manning our GM position. Look at this one:

"Hey Recali! Just thought I'd give you an update on our free agent offers. Oh man! They did NOT go the way I expected! I mean, I suppose nothing ever does. But wow! Not this. I think I maybe have made a big mistake! Ohhh. Oh boy. It's okay though. I think I can salvage this. Just gonna have to double down! Oh ... Oh yeah! The mistake! We signed Chip Puckett!! That's kind of good. Sort of. Except well, he was like our fifth target. It's just ... I HAD SO MUCH MONEY RECALCI! I've never had money like this. They were asking for so little. HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED!!! Ooooooohhhhhh. .... Okay. Calm down. So, I had so much money left over after putting out huge ... I mean HUGE ... like Mama's ankles swollen after standing behind Offie for the entire week while he painted the house telling him he wasn't doing a very good job and then complaining about how he made her watch the whole process because he's so incompetent ...... Umm. Whoops. Lost my train of thought. That's okay. Anyway, I pushed the offer on Hubbard, who we HAVE to get, by 24 mil. And I increased to offer on Carlos Rodriguez. We probably have to get him, too. I mean, they said they liked my offers, but you can't take the chance someone will come over the top, right? Had to back off Luther Summers though. That stinks. But hey! I think I may have found us a solution for our RH 1B/DH problem in Olivero Luna. That's good!!! But well, it looks like I'm going to have to find another starter. Hao Kun? Maybe? What do you think? You know, when I used to blog for the California Crusaders (R.I.P.), I had all these ideas about who we should go get in free agency ... if we ever had money. This is a lot harder than it looks. Do oyu have any ideas? Do you think I'm doing a good job? I'm using all the money. Like Mr. Schmidt said. So ... I mean ... that's good right? I like this job. I want to keep it. Do you like your job? I liked blogging. But no one paid Offie. I hear they pay you! That's super great! Hey??!?! "They" is Mr. Schmidt, right? He pays you ..... but he didn't pay Offie ... to blog. Huh. Oh well. I'm the GM now! But I guess you know that. Okay, back to work!

What am I supposed to do with that? Well dear reader, the answer is: pass it on to you. Enjoy. That's the mind running this insane overhaul. Good luck everybody.
Ted Schmidt
Twin Cities Typing Nightmares(2044-present)
California Crusaders (2021-2038)

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Re: Twin Cities River Monsters' Terribly Named and Too Hard to Type News Blog for Baseball Stories 2045.2

Post by jiminyhopkins » Fri Nov 20, 2020 7:39 pm

My team sucks
Current GM, Phoenix Talons (2029-??), BBA
FORMER GM, Munchen Brauers (2024-28), EBA
FORMER GM, Washington Bobwhites (1999-2010), MBBA
Owner, Phoenix/Traverse City Talons (1995-2036), Global Baseball Consortium

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