Jeff Palin Arrives; Hotter than Hell 2029, V1

[Bumstead]

Jeff Palin arrives at the ballpark in San Antonio. San Antonio has just been rewarded with an MBBA expansion team and Jeff Palin has been assigned to be the first General Manager of the organization. Jeff Palin pulls off his suit jacket; his shirt underneath is soaked with sweat.

Jeff Palin: What a shit-hole. It's like walking around in a skillet set to scalding...I can't believe people actually prefer San Antonio over living on the surface of the sun...Where in the world is Riddler at when you need him? I was there in Madrid when he thought he could handle being a GM for a team. What a fucking laugh that was. The team got worse than they were without a GM....hilarious...and here I am talking to myself like some mental patient...

The door opens and in walks...

JP: Mary Jane Pleasant. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?
Mary Jane: Don't start that Mr. Palin. I am here on an official capacity.
JP: How short do "official capacity" skirts come these days?
MJ: (blushing) Mr. Palin....please...I am here to write a story about you for the San Antonio Brimstone Gazette.
JP: I thought you gave up writing and you would now be back working for me?
MJ: I did and now I didn't. No food?
JP: I just got here Mary Jane. I haven't even found my office yet.
MJ: Well, let's find it and get this interview over. I'm starving.
JP: Alright...are you sure? I really missed you...
MJ: Let's get to the interview.
JP: Alright...what are your questions? I'm not sure I have many answers.
MJ: So, tell me the story of how you negotiated your way to becoming the GM of San Antonio.
JP: Story? There's no story. The Commissioner sent me a plane ticket with a note that said, "Congratulations, you are the new GM in San Antonio."
MJ: I thought there were like 4 expansion teams. Does that mean you just got whatever team was left?
JP: I can't answer that Mary Jane. Do you really think I wanted to work and live in San Antonio?
MJ: No. I thought it was weird, as I know you hate Texas. That's why I asked.
JP: Well, here I am...yippee kai yay mother f....sorry...
MJ: I won't put that in the article.
JP: Your choice Mary Jane. I could care less.
MJ: Any plans for the team or any other comments you have on how honored you are to be here?
JP: Not really Mary Jane. I'm not excited to be here and I guess we'll try to win baseball games and hopefully the fans that show up enjoy the sweat bath they will get coming to games in hell.

Mary Jane's phone rings.

MJ: I gotta take this. I appreciate your time Mr. Palin. <into the phone> Look Richard I told you not to...
JP: Is that Big Dick Smoker? Damn it Mary Jane!

Mary Jane quickly exits the office, now whispering into the phone. Lots of crashing and the sound of breaking objects can be heard coming from inside...

[7teen]

Suddenly Chris Wilson busts down the door and screams: "This Jeff Palin guy looks a lot like Dug Riddler!! What the fuck is going on here!?"

[Bumstead]

Jeff Palin: Oh Shit! <runs out back door>