THE FAIRLY FICTIONAL ANNALS OF A BBA GM Part 5

[Chuck V]

Valenches let out a loud expletive. Then another. Then another. Bailey popped her head in his door. “You rang?” Valenches took a moment to gather himself. Roberson, that ratfuck bastard! He was working with Luke Milligan to bring a block of Sydney Sharks to Edmonton of all places! Did Milligan know that he had been named the GM of the Jackrabbits? It seems at least one reporter in Edmonton knew, but he had only accepted the job 48 hours ago and no announcement had been made. Roberson acted like he it was news to him. Valenches picked up his phone and called Bailey.
“Bailey, do we have a Team Head of Security?”
“Yep. That would be Gaeton LeGrottier? Why, you need somebody’s legs broken?”
“Nothing that drastic. Just get him in my office like right now.” I also need whoever is in charge of IT on the phone right now as well.”
“Who do you need first?”
“Whoever you can get. Figure it out.”
“You got it.”
In another surprisingly efficient move Bailey got the IT head on the phone in less than two minutes.
“This is Chad, what can I do for you?”
“Chad, this is Chuck Valenches. If you check with Bailey, she will tell you, I am the new GM of the Edmonton Jackrabbits.”
“Oh, I already knew that Mr. Valenches. I set up your email account earlier today.”
“Great Chad. As my first request of IT, I need you to cut off Mark Roberson’s phone and internet. Can you do that?”
“Sure. Do you have anything difficult for me to do that will take me more than three clicks on my mouse?”
“I’m not sure. Can you leave your parents basement long enough to get it done Chad?”
Chad was silent for a beat. “Okay fine, What do you need?”
“Can you look up Roberson’s schedule for me?”
The light on Chuck’s Qube lit up. “There you go, I forwarded it to you.”
Chuck picked up his Qube and checked the Q Mail. Roberson’s schedule was attached. And lo and behold, Roberson had an appointment at 4:00 PM with an ‘LM Player Block’.
“Thank you Chad.”
Just as Chuck was disconnecting with Chad a large human entered his doorway. A very large human with a bullet head. Chuck looked up at Gaeton who stood a good 6’ 6”.
“Jesus Fucking Christ! What the hell do they feed you guys up here?”
“Tiny Americans” came the reply.
“Gaeton I presume?”
“One and the same. I understand you are now the chief around here.”
“So they say. I don’t have time for the security briefing which I am sure is not necessary and likely forthcoming, but we have a situation that needs to be addressed right now.”
Gaeton, the very large human, shrugged.
“I need you to lock down Mark Roberson’s office with him in it. Don’t hurt him, but I need to make sure he stays put. Can you do that?”
“I’ve done worse.”
“I’ll bet you have. Get it done right away. I don’t want him sending any messages in or out. Got it?”
“Sounds fun.” And with that, Gaeton turned and left the room.
“BAILEY!”
Bailey came scurrying into the room.
“What!?”
“Did Mike Bauer like you being such a smartass?”
“He didn’t mind it as long as I did my job.”
“Then I won’t either. Here is what I need you to do….”
…..
Luke Milligan stepped out of the limo with four athletic looking ballplayers. One even wore a Sydney Sharks baseball cap. All wore sport coats, except Luke who wore a very well-tailored three-piece suit. Milligan walked into the front office of the Edmonton Jackrabbits feeling better about himself than he had in years. Behind him he had four of the star players of the Sydney Sharks of the Global Baseball Consortium, including last years GBC home run champ, Wasim Ala’. Milligan had worked all last season to set this up. He just needed a willing partner and he would pull off one of the biggest agent deals in baseball history. Four star players. All under the same agent. All signing with the same team for close to record paydays! Of course, Luke would have to cut off a slice of his commission for Mark Roberson as agreed, but that greedy little wanker would overplay his hand soon enough and with the rep Milligan would get pulling off this deal, he would no longer need to court nobodies like Roberson. Star players would be banging on his door looking for representation. Milligan ignored the assistant out front trying to flag him down as he made his way towards the elevator.
“Don’t worry lass. Here to see Mr. Roberson. I know the way.”
As the elevator doors closed, Milligan thought about what he would do with his commission. Four players at $22.5 million each. 89 million a year for 5 years! A combined total of $445 million. At 50%, and Milligan chuckled at this percentage as the players standing all around him had no idea he was milking them for an extra 35%, that meant 222.5 million for him! That would be 220 million in his pocket after Roberson gets his cut. Not bad for a day’s work. The late Scott Boras would be green with envy!
The elevator doors opened and Milligan exited and turned left toward the Edmonton Assistant GM’s office. 20 more meters and Milligan and his players would be signing fat contracts for mucho dinero!
Milligan and his party entered Mark Roberson’s office. He thought it odd that the severe looking secretary that always stood guard out front was not in her pillbox, but Roberson probably wanted to keep this on the down low. With no GM for the Edmonton Jackrabbits named yet, the time was ripe to make this a fait accompli. Milligan swept into Roberson’s office.
“Mark, my good man I come bearing gif….”
Milligan stopped in his tracks. Roberson was not at his desk. Mark Roberson was, in fact, sitting in a chair against the wall with a very large human standing next to him with a very large hand clamped on Roberson’s shoulder. Roberson’s normal high-backed chair was facing the window. To the side a youngish woman with pink hair sat with a notebook and a laptop, typing while referring to her notes.
“Milligan turned to Roberson. “Mark, what the hell is happening?”
Roberson opened his mouth as if to speak but the behemoth standing next to him squeezed his shoulder causing Mark to grimace in pain.
“No talking Mr. Roberson. Them’s the rules.” Chimed in the gigantic human.
“Mr. Roberson is no longer employed by the Jackrabbits Luke.” The voice came from the high-backed chair facing the window. “You get to deal with me now.”
Slowly the chair spun around to face Milligan. As soon as he saw the chair’s occupant he knew he might possibly be fucked.
“Do you want the good news or the bad news first Luke?” Chuck Valenches sat in the chair facing Milligan.
“Ahhhh. That was a trick question. There is no good news! At least, for you. Sit.” Valenches let out a hearty, fake laugh.
Milligan stood in stunned silence.
“Luke. If Mr. deGrottier over there has to help you sit he will likely put your ass through the floor. So. Sit.”
Milligan sat down.
“Now that we are all comfy. Let’s get down to brass tacks. You have been caught with your dick in your zipper Luke. You had your clients’ fake injuries to avoid the possibility of injuries so that you could sign them all in one big package. Mark had quite a story to tell. Did you boys know..” and here, Chuck acknowledged all four players by waving what appeared to be BBA contracts in their faces, “That Mr. Milligan here negotiated contracts that gave him a 50% agents fee? All four players turned towards Milligan. "According to Mr. Roberson’s emails, you guys were about to sign deals that contained so many riders, fees and just plain old BS that the 22.5-million-dollar contracts you thought you were signing are actually only worth 11.25 per annum and inserted in here is a rider giving Luke Milligan Power of Attorney and making him your Financial and Investment Advisor as well. I very much doubt you would have seen much of even that 11.25 million.”
All four players continued to stare at Mr. Milligan. All four wondering which one of them would get to tenderize his head with a baseball bat.
“The contracts are complete shit. If you follow Bailey here to my office, she will put you in contact with actual reputable agents that will only rip you off for the standard 15%.” Bailey stood up from her seat and motioned at the four former Sydney Sharks. “This way boys. She left the room and all four left with her, Surprisingly, only Ala’ swatted Luke Milligan across the head on their way out.
Milligan clenched the sides of his chair. “You can’t do that! Those are my clients! I have binding agent agreements with all four of them!”
“Actually, you don’t. I’ve spoken with the BBAPA, that is the Players Association by the way, and they have pulled your agent certification. Once I sent them both versions of the contracts you were going to have those four idiots sign, they came to the realization that you were in violation of”, and Valenches then pulled out a binder and flipped it to a bookmarked page, “ Section 84 of the BBAPL Agents which says, and I quote, “Certification Rules.§4(L)(1)(a) – Competing with the employer while employed by the employer, including without limitation, Recruiting for his or her own present or future self-interest or for any other Player Agent or other competitor of the employer, or using work time or the employer’s facilities or equipment to prepare to become a competitor of the employer;” Yada Yada Yada. Basically what it says is that since you were ripping off the players you are banned. And because you were also ripping off your agency by sneaking those extra riders in the contract to make you some side dough, your agency has also seen fit to end your employment.
You are no longer legally allowed to represent any major or minor league players affiliated with the Brewster Baseball Association. The GBC has also yanked your certification as they do not like agents who screw their players. If you check your Q Mail you will likely find a very official looking letter from the league telling you to take a long walk off a short go fuck yourself.”
Valenches gave Milligan his widest smile. “After I am done you won’t be able to represent badminton players on Bora Bora you grotesque little weasel. You are done. Finished. I will wipe you off the bottom of my shoe and think of you no more. You are, wait for it, banned from all BBA parks, majors and minors. You can’t even apply to be the mascot you piece of shit.
Milligan sat back with his jaw hanging slack. “You can’t do this…”
“Oh yes, I can, and those alternate contracts that paid you 50% that you didn’t tell the players about? Turns out that is fraud. Something that two detectives from the Edmonton police department would like to speak with you about. Coincidentally, they are waiting in the front lobby. I wouldn’t suggest running. Nothing would be funnier than watching you get your ass beat by a Mountie.”
Chuck stood up from behind his desk. He motioned to Gaeton who quite easily hauled Mark Roberson to his feet with one meaty paw. Chuck turned towards the former AGM. "Mark, I know I said that if you told me everything I wouldn’t turn you in, but I lied. The police want to speak with you too. My guess is that the first to turn will be the last to burn.” Gaeton collected Luke Milligan with his other meaty paw, puppet-marching both out the door.
Valenches left Roberson’s office, waving goodbye to Mark Roberson and Luke Milligan as the elevator doors closed on their careers and likely their freedom. It had been a hell of a first day. Edmonton was a mess. He needed to replace almost half his minor league staff. There were free agents to sign and not much of a budget to do it with. Edmonton fans seemed pretty down on the team and that would have to be addressed. He walked past his office, looking at the titles on the doors in the hall until he found the one he was looking for. It read, “Lacey Steinhauer, Media Relations”. He walked into the office. A very tired looking woman was at the desk with a graphics program open on her computer, trying to mesh the Jackrabbits logo with a Tim Horton’s logo. The woman looked up from her computer.
“May I help you?”
“Lacey Steinhauer?”
“Yes, that’s me. Can I help you?”
“Lacey I need you to call a press conference for tomorrow at 10 AM.”
“And why would I do that?” replied Lacey.
“Because Lacey, tomorrow at 10:00 AM we are going to announce a new hire in the front office.” Chuck extended his hand towards Lacey. “My name is Chuck Valenches and I’m the new GM of the Edmonton Jackrabbits.”

Fini.

[Jwalk100]

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Great read!

[RonCo]

Total 2059 Caleca.

[recte44]

Coming in hot!!

[RT60]

In the running for a Caleca award that's for sure!