THE FAIRLY FICTIONAL ANNALS OF A BBA GM Part 4

[Chuck V]

As they entered the office of the Jackrabbit’s owner, Chuck noticed the pictures on the wall of past Edmonton ballplayers; Jubal Troop, the former pitcher who ended his career with 199 wins. Carlomaria Donadoni, now with the Calgary Pioneers, but who drove in 161 runs in his rookie year. I was assuming there were p[laces on the wall reserved for players like Steve Collins III.
“Notice anything missing on the pictures?” said Leonard? “None of them have “Hall of Fame” next to their name. More than 60- players in the Hall and none of them wearing an Edmonton cap.” The Jackrabbit’s owner gave a loud sigh. “Let’s talk about how you plan to build this team into a champion.”
At that moment a young assistant came in with a tray of coffee and Tim Horton donuts, “I never could get past these. I do everything else right. I eat right, drink only beers infused with healthy nanodes, My Osmosis Exercise Regimen is top of the line, but I could never give up Tim Horton donuts.”
Leonard took a glazed donut with sprinkles from the tray and dunked it in his coffee. “So what’s the plan?”
Valenches looked out at the expansive field of AGLS Field. “This ballpark will factor into our plans. To make this team a champion we have to build a solid foundation. That doesn’t just mean drafting players and developing them in the minor leagues. That means investing in good coaches up and down the ladder. Putting money towards player development. Hiring managers who are good developers. We take nothing for granted at any level. It may even mean at times we devote more resources to the minors than we do the BBA. In the meantime, we have to be able to keep our fan interest up. Actually we need to build it back up as we are near the bottom of the league. All of our plans are going to be very short-lived if we develop the right players and then we can’t afford them because we had lousy teams for so long we have too small of a budget. We should be building towards a solid core of young players that we will complement with free agents when the time is right. At the same time we keep trying to make improvements at the big league level. Spend every penny on players who can bridge us until the prospects develop. We should also start thinking about plans to rebuild our stadium and maybe update the logo and uniform. I have already started putting out feelers for new minor league staff and I hope to have those positions filled shortly. I’m scouring the wires looking for waiver pick ups and creating a war room that is devoted to upcoming free agents. Who could help us. Who can we afford. Who can we get good value out of considering our ball park. That will be the start. Plenty of other moves can be made. Our minor league system is ranked in the middle of the pack, though only one prospect is ranked in the Top 20 and none in the Top 10. We have the fourth overall pick this year. Let’s keep it and pick the best available. We have holes everywhere. The rest we will make up as we go along.” He finished with a smile.
“That sounds good on paper, but I know Mike Bauer, the former GM, had to have gotten frustrated. It seemed like the last few years every move he tried to make seemed to blow up on him. He’d make an offer on a free agent and next thing you know somebody is coming in just a few bucks higher. We’d pass on players that would suddenly turn into superstars. I mean, how did we miss on Keith Jahnke? Or Graham Aubry? I think the last few years Mike felt he was snakebit. The last few years he left a lot of the decisions up to Mark Roberson , our Assistant GM. Mark is an aggressive GM. You’ll like him. He’s big on what he likes to call metrics, but he is here night and day and keeps a close eye on everything. You should get along just fine.”
“I plan on seeing him right after we are done”, said Valenches, “I plan on being very hands on and keeping my eyes on everything as well.
“Okay Chuck. I think you have a solid plan. I want more fans in the seats. I want more money in my coffers. But, more importantly, I want another championship trophy, otherwise, what the hell are we all doing here?” The Edmonton owner walked Chuck to his door. If you need anything, let me know. I’ll hope for frequent updates. Nothing would make me happier than to have a solid reason to raise your budget, but I need to see something to justify it. Good luck Chuck.” With that, Valenches left the office and stopped by the assistants desk and received directions to the Assistant General Manager’s office, which was one floor down and the opposite end of the hall from his own office. Making the short trip he came to Roberson’s office and his secretary, a severe looking woman who may have had a former life as a prison guard stood watch over the door.
“May I help you?” the woman asked in what Chuck assumed was a Soviet East German accent even though he had no idea what one would sound like.
“Where’s Roberson?”
“And may I ask who is inquiring?”
Valenches began to get annoyed and leaned across the desk, putting his face very close to the assistant, noticing that her breath smelled strangely like sauerkraut. “His fucking boss is inquiring. Now get the fucking Assistant GM on the fucking phone right. fucking. now. And if he asks who is here, tell him it’s Chuck Valenches, the new GM of the Edmonton Jackrabbits and the one who signs yours and his goddamn checks.” Valenches straightened up and put a pleasant smile on his face. “Please.”
The assistant pressed a button and Chuck could hear the buzz inside the office. He quickly stepped around Frau Gatekeeper and entered Roberson’s office, just in time to see him disconnect a call on his office phone. “He quickly went from startled to gregarious and practically leapt from behind the desk, head swiveling like he was a squirrel caught in a trap. “May I help you?”
“I’m the new General Manager. Chuck Valenches.”
Roberson’s face went pale. “The new…GM? Wait, nobody told me anybody had been hired. Why was I not informed?”
“Negotiations were kept on the down-low you could say. They didn’t make a big deal about it and we have not even publicly announced it yet.” Valenches looked around the office which was lavishly decorated with artwork, photos of the Great Barrier Reef
“So far, it’s going great! Great! Couldn’t be better! I’ve been scouring the free agent market and have a good idea about who we will be making offers to this off season. Don’t worry about anything. I’ve got it all handled. I’ve crossed every “I” and dotted every “t” and I have left no stone unturned. I, we, we are going to put this team back on top in no time at all! Just leave it to me!”
Valenches looked at him quizzically. “Would you mind letting me in on who you have decided to sign. You know, maybe let the GM in on the details?”
“Sure Chuck, sure! I usually didn’t have to go through all of the decisions I made with Mike the last couple of…”
“Well now you do. If you’ve made any offers, I’d like to know about them. If you’ve extended any minor league free agents, I want to know about them. If you’ve decided on a new carpet cleaner, I want to know about it. Are we clear?”
“Crystal clear Chuck! Crystal clear! Let me put together a presentation on the guys I plan on bringing in. It will take me about a week to get it together, you know, all the different reports, agent conversations, Stat Tracker 4.5 analysis, etc.” The AGM for the Jackrabbits looked slightly pale. I’ll get those to you as soon as possible Chuck. Don’t you worry!”
“See that you do.” Valenches spun and stormed out of the office and down the hall where he saw a stadium employee putting the final touches on the glass door which read
CHUCK VALENCHES
GENERAL MANAGER
Valenches stopped for a moment to take it in, and then turned to the woman at the desk in front. She was in her early thirties with large glasses and black fingernails and a definite Goth look. She also had pink hair “Jesus H…” muttered Chuck under his breath.
“You have pink hair!”
“You have a big nose!”
“Who are you?” Valenches asked the woman.
“Who are you?” the woman asked right back.
Valenches pointed to his name on the door. “I’m him. The new GM.”
“Great!” She reached for a pile of papers on her desk. “These are your messages. Here are the employment forms. Here is the direct deposit form. Here is the tax submission form. Here is the month-end payroll and…” she went on to go over at least a dozen more items. “I’m off to lunch. Toodles! And, the name is Bailey.” She then threw her backpack on one shoulder and walked towards the elevator.
Valenches stood there stunned with the pile of messages and forms in his hand. The message on top was from Derek Morgan, his AGM in Sydney. He’d get to that in a bit. He entered his office which was pretty spartan at the moment. A desk a chair, a leather sofa and a table with three chairs off to the side. No pictures, No trophies, nothing on the walls. A new Qube sat on his desk. Valenches took his seat in his new office chair, immediately deciding that one of his first actions would be to get an office chair that wasn’t comprised of cement blocks and barbed wire. He began to go through reports for the team on his computer and his heart sank a little. The team had had three straight losing seasons and were below .500 in 10 of the last 12. When he heard what he assumed was Bailey returning from lunch he called her into the office.
“Bailey, right?” he asked her.
She shrugged her shoulders and blew a bubble with the apparently ever-present wad of gum in her mouth. “Yep. That’s me.”
“Bailey, why do I have a new Qube on my desk. I already have a phone of my own?”
“Oh, that’s easy. Mr. Leonard started providing cell phones for employees when we started our sponsorship with Virgin Mobil. We deduct our Qube bills from the their cost of the sponsorship in trade.”
“Okay. I guess that makes sense.” Valenches paused for a moment, “Bailey, who do we have that tabulates all the cell phone bills and trues up the sponsorship money?”
“That would be our Controller, Monsoor Pataudi, our Controller.”
“Okay. Do me a favor. Get with Mr. Pataudi and see if he can get you the call sheets for the baseball operations department, could you? And get Mark Bauer’s and Mark Roberson’s too.”
“Sure. Anything else?” said Bailey.
“No, that’s all. Thank you.”
Bailey proved to be fairly efficient because she had the call lists for the Scouting Department, Player Development, minor league coordinators, team doctors. Everybody, including the Jackrabbits former GM and current Assistant GM in less than 20 minutes. Chuck pored over the call lists and stopped when he came to Charlie Fick, the scout for Eastern Canada. His territory covered Prince Edward Island, home of Graham Aubry. It galled Valenches even more knowing that Aubry, who was already putting up solid numbers in the big leagues was a native Canadian. How the hell could Charlie Fick miss this guy? He picked up his Qube and called Fick at home.
“Hello?”
“Charlie, this is Chuck Valenches, the new GM of the Edmonton Jackrabbits. How are you?”
“I’m fine Chuck. Congratulations are definitely in order. It’s not often we see one of our own become the GM.”
“Thank you, Charlie. Listen I wanted to ask you some questions about past scouting reports. What the fuck happened with Graham Aubry. They guy looks like he was a can’t miss prospect and he was under your nose. What the fuck? How could we let this guy slip by and draft Will Traylor who still hasn’t made it past Short Season A Ball? What the fuck were you doing Charlie?”
“Whoah, Whoah Mr. Valenches. I saw Graham Aubry play in high school and college. I recommended him as my top prospect in my territory.”
“Don’t give me that shit Charlie. I called up your scouting report from the Player Development department. You had him down as a sub par defender and a slow bat who wasn’t sure if he wanted to play baseball!”
“That’s a load of crap. I liked Aubry. I even had dinner with his parents. I had him down as a baseball fanatic who put in extra work and leaves it all out on the field every game. Here, hang on a second.” Chuck could hear the click of a keyboard on the other end. “There, I just forwarded you the email of my scouting report that I sent in my final evaluation of Aubry. Read it for yourself.” Valenches opened the email in his Qube and opened the attachment. Sure enough, there was Charlie Fick’s evaluation of Graham Aubry and it was a glowing report with high marks across the board. Excellent approach at the plate, could drive the ball on a better than average basis. Good eye. Good arm, good glove. A bit of a plodder on the basepaths, but a definite prospect for a BBA corner outfield spot. Chuck looked at the top of the email and saw it was addressed to Henry DiJeffarro, the old head of Player Development and cc’d to Mark Roberson.
“What did DiJeffarro say when it came time for the organizational review?” asked Valenches.
“Nothing! He got let go by the Jackrabbits two weeks before the draft that year”
“Are you shitting me? We fired our Player Development Director two weeks before the draft?”
“All I know”, said Charlie,” Was that when we did our organizational review, Mark Roberson ran the meeting and Graham Aubry never came up. When I brought up Aubry, Roberson brushed me off and said he had read the report and didn’t feel he could play Jackrabbit’s baseball.”
Chuck’s head was starting to hurt. Something was not right.
“Okay. Thanks’s Charlie. I’ve seen the original report. If you have any problems with Player Development in the future, make sure you call me.”
Valenches hung up the Qube and turned to the call sheets, flipping straight to Roberson’s call sheet, looking for something out of the ordinary. Outside of a few too many calls to a massage parlor on 104th St, nothing rang a bell until he started seeing the same number. A number he recognized.
Luke Milligan’s Qube number.