Separation Anxiety Stymies Edmonton (Hoppy Endings, post Sim 3) [PP:2056.06]

[neugey]

The BBA is a league of proud, hearty, hard-nosed players and staff. It’s very rare to see a team lament or make excuses of any kind for poor play. The culture in the Brewster is known for its extraordinary resolve, tough mindedness and tight-lipped clubhouses.

But these attributes have been distinctly absent as of late with the Edmonton Jackrabbits. Following a stretch where the team went a pitiful 0-7, players and coaches alike were very up-front about the team’s recent struggles.

“Whenever our GM Mike Bauer is not present or available to us, it has a profound effect on morale,” explained Bench Coach Norberto Ramirez. “The boss took a vacation to the mountains and was not available on mobile phone. We are a team that depends heavily on our general manager for oversight and daily wisdom. Assistant GM Mark Roberson is a good dude, but let’s be honest – he just gets the snacks and changes the water coolers. In contrast, Mr. Bauer does so much for our team. Not seeing him in that press box is extremely difficult for us. We’ve all formed a deep, deep emotional attachment to him.”

“Being abandoned by your general manager is a pain no player in the BBA should have to experience,” said an anonymous player. “I remember the time when I was 8 years old, just playing outside with the dog and my dad drive off in haste and it was the last time I ever saw him. What we’ve just been through in Edmonton … “, the player had to look down and take some deep breaths to collect himself. “… It’s been just about that bad.”

“Players are just despondent,” admitted First Base Coach Robbie DeCock. “Even taking routine grounders in practice becomes an exercise in futility. The team is forlorn and absent minded. Pitchers can’t find the zone. Hitters swing too late and with no confidence. Coaches forget how to inspire and teach. Some of us struggle to remember each other’s names. We’re all just a depressed and disheveled mess without our great leader to guide us.”

“I thought a weekend visit from the Talons and Your Mom would arouse the team,” added Third Base Coach Gustavo Diaz. “But not even an ecstatic display from Your Mom was enough to inspire or erect our … spirits. Mr. Bauer being gone was just something that couldn’t be resolved.”

The prior night when Bauer returned, the GM had serious intent to rip into his players based on the pitiful performance by the team in his absence. But upon seeing all the teary puppy dog eyes and grown men rushing like little children to embrace him, some even falling and wrapping themselves around his legs, the GM did not get his chance. Embraced by a large convoy of players and staff, the GM simply uttered, “oh my God, geez guys.”

Following this encounter, the team found their footing, winning 5 of the last 6, including 2 of 3 from Charm City.