49.01 Rabbit Stew: Three Rookies Make the Cut as Edmonton Announces Opening Day Roster

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49.01 Rabbit Stew: Three Rookies Make the Cut as Edmonton Announces Opening Day Roster

Post by tylertoo » Sat Dec 04, 2021 12:28 pm

Image

Edmonton, January 1, 2048 -- After a lackluster season, and a positively mundane off-season, the Edmonton 'brain trust' unveiled the 2049 Opening Day roster that is certainly guaranteed to induce ennui among the team's remaining fans. Here's the run-down:

2048 blues
: Just three years after winning the Brewster, and one year after earning a wildcard berth, the 2048 Jackrabbits had a dismal 75-87 record and never contended. GM Mike Dunn never could make up for the departure of three all-stars prior to '48, so he fired the manager and then seemed only fixated on adding players who shared his last name.

Image The starting lineup includes rookie C Kinsella
Offseason snooze: This off-season, Dunn couldn't seem to figure out whether to go all-in or begin a rebuild. The result was just two notable free agent signings:
  • 29-year old starting pitcher Johan Trojka, most recently toiling in the UMEBA with mixed results. It remains to be seen if Trojka's best days are behind him, but Dunn inked him for a five years at around $8M per, though fortunately the final two years are team options. This signing smacks of desperation. "Better SP options wouldn't return our phone calls," said one team source candidly.
  • 32-year old centerfielder Rocky "Rusty" Allen, who played for Edmonton in 2042-44, returns to the team because prospect Andrew Wright just ain't ready. Allen was also prized for his defense, which was the team's biggest Achilles heal in 2048.
Image A 6-man rotation to start the season
including FA Trojka and rookie House

Opening Day: Three rookies made the opening day line-up:
  • 21-year old C John "Shoeless" Kinsella, the great-great-great grandson of famed author W.P. Kinsella, author of the novel "Shoeless Joe." This follow last season's trade of longtime Jackrabbits catcher Ranier Scheffer to Charlotte for two pitching prospects (Scheffer then signed a one-year deal with New Orleans). Kinsella earned the starting catcher honors with a solid spring training and has outstanding defensive skills.
  • 20-year old SP James House starts the season in the bigs, and in the rotation, making him the single biggest surprise of the initial active roster. House, who has phenomenal stuff, and offers a fastball, slider and changeup, as a 17th round draft pick back in 2046, proving that gems can occasionally be found in the latter rounds. "We don't know if he's quite ready," said our front office source, "but there's no downside to finding out." Manager Waldemar "Wally" Buddenberg is likely to have a quick hook with House. The team is going, at least initially, with a six man starting rotation in order to limit innings in April.
  • 22-year old OF Bhumimitra "Boomer" Keshab, acquired in a trade with Jacksonville back in '46, made the cut as a fifth outfielder.
Prediction: Opting against a major buying spree on the FA market, this team is destined to struggle to .500. Fan interest will wane, but at least they have some rookies to give them hope.
Mike Dunn
Chicago Black Sox (1995-1996) (2049-2054)
Landis Champion: '95, '96

Edmonton Jackrabbits (2047-2048)
Tripoli Piranhas (2044-2046)

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