The Brewster

View digizine named their first Sexiest Ballman earlier today. The new annual series has all the opinionated women from The View digizine discussing their favorite attractive sports ball men. The ladies were giddy discussing David Katzenbogen suggesting he got his nickname, Bazooka, not just because of his strong arm. The very mature women then demonstrated many sexually suggestive hand motions that we will choose not to elaborate on further. Katzenbogen has been playing much more this season for the Edmonton Jackrabbits hoping to finally secure a consistent starting spot. Contrary to what the women of The View think, Katzenbogen is not as good at swinging the stick as he is at catching the balls.

Some other finalists included Jacksonville's Jose 'El Guapo' Zuniga, Jose 'Heartthrob' Leyva of the Crawdads and Girolamo 'The Italian Stallion' L'Archibudelli of Las Vegas. One of the women exclaimed excitedly that she thought Zuniga's power came from his prowess in the bedroom. 23 year old Leyva was the favorite of Whoopi Goldberg who is hosting the show for the 80th year. The ladies also agreed that L'Archibudelli's .400+ batting average must mean that he would only produce triplets as his sperm was so strong apparently. Science.

The show poked fun at Long Beach Surfers' Gualtiero 'Tadpole' Crisci and Edmonton's Jose 'Slinky' Salas comparing their nicknames to their penis size and sexual competency.

ahh yes, the arm. The most important part of a male to be considered "big".

The View must not have any adventurous ladies, since Quant "The Greek Freak" Kouros was left out of the conversation.

shoeless.db wrote: ↑

Tue May 05, 2020 11:44 am

The View must not have any adventurous ladies, since Quant "The Greek Freak" Kouros was left out of the conversation.

Yeah I had him on my list, but I couldn't write for as long as I wanted to. There's always next year. I guess your marketing isn't sexy enough for them.

How do neither of the "Black Lightning"'s make the list? José Toledo? Jefferson Pierce?

Pedro "Deathblow" Ruiz may be too aggressive.

lol I saw the Black Lightning duo. Girls like what they like I guess.

A shame that 6'7" Long "Ding Dong" Chamberlain III was ineligible due to being in AAA.

jleddy wrote: ↑

Tue May 05, 2020 6:27 pm

A shame that 6'7" Long "Ding Dong" Chamberlain III was ineligible due to being in AAA.

lolol I'm sure that was an oversight and the ladies forgot about him since he's not on TV as much.

Damn... How'd I miss this?

I wonder if him and Kate ever hooked up during their Madison days.....

He's my creation, named after my favorite Joe as a kid. Nice story.

7teen wrote: ↑

Sun May 24, 2020 10:49 am

Damn... How'd I miss this?

I wonder if him and Kate ever hooked up during their Madison days.....

I’m sure they will never tell. The bazooka and the bazongas...nope. The world can’t handle the power of that relationship.

nerfHerder wrote: ↑

Sun May 24, 2020 10:52 am

He's my creation, named after my favorite Joe as a kid. Nice story.

That's awesome.

I missed this the first time around. If Zuniga sees this and starts thinking about the girls from the view when he is at the plate, he may not be able to ever look at a curve ball the same way again.