Unnamed Sources Allege Dug Riddler Diddles Bulls

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Unnamed Sources Allege Dug Riddler Diddles Bulls

Post by Chey » Sun Sep 11, 2016 1:08 pm

Image The European rumour mill is abuzz today with striking allegations against the Madrid Matadors General Manager, Dug Riddler. While no league sources have agreed to be named for this article, at least one anonymous EBA General Manager has asserted that the man behind the matadors, first-year GM Dug Riddler, has a more-than-Matador-esque relationship with the beloved bulls of Spain.

"Look, I'm just saying it's weird. Is it true? I don't know. But people are saying that, you know... let's just say the Matadors aren't so much into "fighting" bulls these days, if you know what I mean, hehe. And have you seen the guy’s moustache? It’s creepy, is all I’m saying."

Without getting into specifics -- this is a family show -- the suggestion appears to be that the Matadors boss has been nurturing an unhealthy relationship with the club's mascot, an actual bull named Bully brought out for pictures after the games. While such a claim is, of course, impossible to verify, such an off-field distraction may prove problematic for the Spanish club.
Image
Bully the Bull entertains fans at a Matadors event.
Riddler took the helm of the Madrid franchise prior to the 2027 off-season and has made a name for himself as one of the more active and outspoken members of the European baseball community. He’s also something of an unknown, as this is his first major job in the sport. Riddler’s previous attempts to strike up a rivalry with their fellow members of the Eastern Division, the free-spending Northstars, have sputtered, but with these new fiery allegations it’s possible that a true firestorm could break out in the Old World.

"I don't know him personally, okay?" said the anonymous source. "I'm sure he's a fine baseball guy, but if this is true -- and I'm not saying that it is, just that I've heard it -- well, that's something the league should look into, I think. What kind of a name is “Dug Riddler” anyway? Sounds fake to me."

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, PETA, issued a statement earlier today:

“While we’re not prepared to comment on any anonymous claims, PETA would like to reassert our position that all animals deserved to be treated with dignity. We call upon all of baseball to renew their commitment to the proper treatment of animals, whether they be mascots, pets or livestock.”

Dug Riddler was unavailable for comment at time of publishing, but will almost certainly want to clear his name with the media before these rumours get out of hand. Again, this publication cannot verify any of the claims made against Riddler, but also we can’t prove that he DIDN’T do stuff with the bull, so who knows, okay? We’re just throwing this out there.
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Re: Unnamed Sources Allege Dug Riddler Diddles Bulls

Post by Bumstead » Sun Sep 11, 2016 1:20 pm

So, have a pushed my sword into a bull....I'm a Matador...er...wouldn't you like to know?

:crazylaugh:

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Re: Unnamed Sources Allege Dug Riddler Diddles Bulls

Post by agrudez » Sun Sep 11, 2016 3:36 pm

The story was believable until the peta response. South Park taught me that they would be on jeff's side in this particular matador, er, matter.
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Re: Unnamed Sources Allege Dug Riddler Diddles Bulls

Post by RonCo » Mon Sep 12, 2016 8:54 am

Now we're talking some real bull shit.
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