Brooklyn Robins
March 31st, 2035
Offen Sichtlich der Kunstgriff
Hi Brooklynites! Or Brooklyners, or um. Well, whatever you call yourselves. Sorry. I don't know. I should have looked at this a little better. Oh well. Oh! I guess you don't know me. I'm Offen Sichtlich der Kunstgriff. I'm the chief publicist and blogger for the California Crusaders. When I was snooping around the Crusaders's databases, I mean, well. Okay, so I found this task list for the California Crusaders media department. It hadn't been touched in over a year! Sitting on top of it was a request from the league office to preview the Brooklyn bombers for 2035. So I figured, enter Offie! My friends call me Offie by the way. Anyway Brooklyn Bombers fans, I'm pleased to meet you. I hope you enjoy reading this. Brooklyn is pretty far from Sacramento, so I'm a little nervous we won't see things the same way. But then I figured, "Offie! They're baseball fans like you. They just like a different team. No big deal!" Not that your team isn't a big deal. It is. Well, to you. As it should be! I'm wander again. I do that. Sorry. Okay. Here we go!
Looking back at 2032
This thing has a template and everything! So let's see. What do I remember about the Brooklyn Bombers. Well, I found this piece in the league media guide written by Aaron Weiner.
"The Robins have been the very picture of mediocrity since going to the playoffs six times in
seven years from 2021-2027, winning one title. They haven’t won more than 81 games or less
than 70 over the past six seasons, or finished higher than 4th out of 7 teams since the divisions
realigned. I would love to sit here and write that Brooklyn’s about to go through a resurgence,
but, sadly, that’s definitely not the case.
The Brooklyn pitching staff is led by Tavio Ciccolella, who has been one of the most consistent
starters in the league over the past few seasons and suddenly busted out last year for 18 wins and
262 innings. I’d be shocked to see that again. Mario Gonzalez has also been a hallmark of
consistency but is beginning to show some signs of age at 35 years old, so the team is obviously
hoping he doesn’t fall off this year. Francisco Ruiz has a lot of potential but also threw 36 walks
in 44 innings last year, so he’s clearly a work in progress. The team has several starters who will
fight it out for the last two rotation spots, and they should be able to expect a little better from
Alan Dominguez and the bullpen crew, but no part of this pitching staff screams contender.
The offense is just as marginal. No JL team struck out less last year, but their team offense was
almost entirely dependent on batting average and they just mostly don’t appear to have the bats
for that.
Henry Rectenberg busted out last year after a lackluster rookie season, but I’m thinking that he
may have flown higher than his potential suggests. Sean Smith was fantastic last year, but it’s
hard to tell what he’ll do from year to year. Antonio Valentin has hit .330 and .340 in two years
for Brooklyn, and he’s in the prime of his career, but he’s a doubles-hitting 1B/DH. A lot of
their guys just aren’t worth what they paid for them, like Francisco Chacon, Enrique Salazar, and
Gerardo Castillo.
The Robins have a reasonably decent farm, and while they drafted just 11th this year they might
do better next year if they repeat their 75 win season in 2033. That seems like a very likely
number for Brooklyn, not just based on recent history but from the team on the field.
They’re not bad enough to bottom out but not good enough to rise up and surprise. They’re in
the long march."
Weiner predicted a 71-91 finish. Wow! I bet you guys wish it went that well. 68-94. Yuck. That probably wasn't very fun. Looks like not much went right. Tavio Ciccolella wasn't as good. Mario Gonzales struggled, and Francisco Ruiz got hurt. Bad year for your pitchers. Poor guys. Okay, well maybe the offense picked it up a bit. Nope. Ugh. Pretty mediocre here, too. Henry Rectenberg needed to be better, and just wasn't. Whoah! Look at this! Why on earth isn't Alvin Dickinson any good? I remember looking at scouting reports on him. My Crusaders were talking about trading for him once upon a time. Glad we dodged that bullet. Hmm, the Smiths were okay. Maybe a little overrated. Also Brooklyn baseballers Sean Smith and Harold Smith were pretty good. Okay, maybe that was a bit of an obscure joke. Antonio Valentin was solid, but not as good as he was before. Wow, nothing went right for you guys! Wait, Chris Workman had a nice year. Good for him. We never should have traded him. Don't tell our GM I said that. I heard he's not always great with criticism.
Stats at a glance
Record: 68-94, 6th Johnson League Atlantic
Runs Scored: 684 (4.2 per game - 8th)
Runs Allowed: 751 (4.6 per game -7th)
Payroll: 90,827,689 (9th)
Attendance: 2,557,326 (12th)
Notable Players Added: SP Ken Bates (Trade)
SP Jon Chandler (FA)
SP Ken Bates (Trade - Las Vegas)
RP Oginga Couje (Trade - Las Vegas)
RP Mark Little (FA)
1B Cisco Guerrero (FA)
1B/DH Ricardo Guzman (FA)
RF Mario Balderas (Trade - Calgary)
Notable Players Lost: SP Tavio Ciccolella (EXP)
LF Henry Rectendberg (Trade - Las Vegas)
CF Alvin Dickinson (EXP)
Offseason Recap
That's a pretty good list I just made. Cisco Guerrero is really good! That contact though. Woah, that could get ugly at the end. But hey! This is about the 2035 Bombers. 2035 Guerrero is exciting! So is 2035 Mario Balderas! We didn't add any players that good in California. I'm a little jealous. I do wonder if Balderas is much of an upgrade over Rectenberg, but Henry was pretty bad last year, and your park likes right handed batters better, so okay! I do wish that Jon Chandler was a few years younger for you guys. Maybe he'd be better as a reliever. Speaking or relievers, I think you're really going to like Mark Little. He's just terrific against lefties. Oh! I almost forgot Ken Bates. he's a weird one. He seems pretty good sometimes, but he gave up a lot of home runs last year. Pretty much one per start to right handed hitters. Which are better in Brooklyn. Uh-oh. Well, maybe it was a fluke. It's one season! He's young! The sky is the limit!
Starting Pitching
I'll be honest. When I first looked at this group, I was like "Ken Bates and Jorge Perez are your best options? Oooooohh. I don't know if I like that." But then I saw Francisco Ruiz on the DL. He looks like he's healed up nicely from his torn rotator cuff. Good. Those things can be scary. So a one-two-three of Ruiz, Bates, Perez. That's alright. Solid. Not great, but solid. Jon Chandler, Luis Salinas, Masamune Ueda, or Juan Jose Fuentes look liek they will be numbers four and five. Well, they'll probably be alright at home. I honestly don't know how I'd pick between those guys. Maybe just ride the hot hand? I've heard pretty good things about Brooklyn's ability to get the best out of guys, so maybe this will work out. By the way, do any of you play old video games? There's a genre called an RPG from the way back in the 90's. Some of those things are really good. Great stories and music. A bunch of them all had a sword called the Masamune. It was always a really good sword.
The Pen
This starts out kind of like the rotation. Alan Dominguez is good. We're off to a good start! Well, then I don't know what to tell you Brooklynites. Maybe Manuel Andres can overcome his control problems. Perhaps some of those guys that aren't starting can give you some good innings. That's always possible. So there's hope! I'd like to say I think Gerardo Castillo can keep doing what he did last year, being a former Crusader and all. But well, I'm not so sure. I really don't want to get you guys down, but I think you might be in for some tough late inning losses this year. I hate those. They just hurt, you know. Well, I'm sure you do. It looks like that happened some last year, too. Hang in there!
Position Players
C Sean Smith is pretty good. Well, maybe not good, but he's okay. Really good defender, but I bet you wish he hit better sometimes. Hey! THat's alot like our guy. That's probably why I like him. Okay, so solid at catcher. Nice, Brooklyners!
1B Cisco Guerrero! I bet that's exciting for your manager to pencil in every day. He's a better hitter than anyone on my team. Just the kind of guy you want to anchor your lineup. Okay, i'll admit it. I'm jealous. I wonder if he plays that old Avenged Sevenfold song for his walkup. That would be really cool. NIIIIGHTMAAAAAAAARE!!!!!
2B Chris Workman seems like he will have to move back to second base with Guerrero on the team. That's probably good and bad, you guys. Look, I really really like Chris, but he was having a hard time getting to balls way back when he was with the Crusaders. He's probably still a good player overall, because he is such a good, patient hitter. You guys are just going to have to be patient with his defense at times.
3B This looks like a platoon. We have a lot of those in California. I like them. Looks like Earl Jackson will handle right handed pitching and Ricardo Guerra will get the lefties. Why do the call him "muscles"? He only has seven home runs in his entire career. Are they making fun of him? That's not very nice.
SS Tony Gustafsen's glove will hold down the shortstop position. He's a really good fielder. well, you know that. But I mean, REALLY good. He's one of those guys that is exciting without ever toughing the bat. Which is um ... good, because he's never exciting with the bat. Sorry.
LF Harold Smith is pretty good, too. He's supposedly a good guy, too. I hear you guys really like him. That's great! Those are the best kind of players, the ones that treat us fans well. They know what it's all about.
CF William Belcham is the main guy here it seems. Maybe Raul Miranda will play against lefites? I wonder if Michael MacCrain would just be a better option. I don't know. He looks like a really good defender.
RF We finish strong! (Well, strongly. See, once upon a time, there was this thing called an adverb. I wonder why no one uses them anymore.) Mario Balderaswill play right field for you guys! Good stuff! I think we all know who he is. I certainly do. He sure beat up my Crusaders now and again.
DH Oh! We're not finished. I forgot about DH. Well, you have two in Antonio Valentin and Ricardo Guzman. Seems like one too many. Well, I see that one is right handed and one is left handed. That works just fine! Wow, anyone that doubted the Guzman signing clearly didn't do his research.
Okay, so this is a pretty decent offense. But well guys ... it's just .... um ... decent. And it defends ... okay. I'll talk more about that below.
2033 Outlook
See, the problem is your competition. I mean, I don't know everything. But I think Charm City, Rockville, and Montreal just have better ones. Sorry. I hope you aren't mad. You might be after what I say next. I think those teams have better pitching, too. Well, maybe not Charm City. Well, maybe not Montreal either. Their bullpens are probably better. Ooooohhh.... I don't know. It's really close. But they all won a lot of games last year and you didn't. So that seems to show that they were better to start with ... probably ... sorry. Well, when I look at a team, I look for a strength. Unfortunately Brooklynerinos ... wow... that was bad. Let's not say that again. Well, when I look at the Bombers I just don't see a unit I'd consider strong.
Prediction
So, part of your problem is your division. I think, overall this is a team that could win 75 games if your competition was really good, and 85 if your competition was really bad. It's pretty good, I'm sorry to say. Please don't be mad at me. I'm afraid to visit Brooklyn now. Oh well, I don't get out much anyway. I just won't read my email for a bit. Prediction 80-82, 4th JLA
