Outsider's Take on the Frick Pacific

[RonCo]

All righty, then. Sure, no one in this office actually knows anything about the MBWBA, but that's never kept us from having opinions. This is a free country, after all. This is 'Merica where I sit, and that means I get my say even if it's stupid as shit. So youse all just has to strap down and listen up.

You're welcome.

Today we're talking Frick Pacific. Why, you ask? Because that's what I wanted to do. Because I sat down this afternoon with my cup of instant chicken soup in a cup and the noodles on top fell together and made the words "VEGAS and "WINDOW WELL." It was like seeing the burning bush you know? God's pipeline straight and true and all that. I knew exactly what it meant. Is that a good enough reason for ya?

Good enough for me.

So here's the straight stuff on the Frick Pacific, high and hard from me to you. Hit it if you can.


Calgary Pioneers:

As Abraham Lincoln once asked "If you call a tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have?" The answer, of course, is four. Because, as old Honest Abe explained, calling a tail a leg does not make it a leg. After a pair of sub-standard seasons, the Marauders entered the witness protection program and emerged with a new mascot, new vigor, and a new name. Unfortunately, they kept the same basic history. So using Abe's rule of thumb, it's probably unwise to expect more from the Pioneers than you did of the Marauders.

As a helpful reminder, let me note: the team won 75 games last year, finishing 16 back of the Hustlers. At least they can say they would have come in third in the Frick Atlantic. Whoo-freaking-hooo.

The problem here was that if Des Moines had not existed, the Maruaders would have been the worst staff in the FL. To their benefit, though, the front office was active in the off season, and they mostly focused on the mound.

They picked up Rule 5 pitchers Mohammed Gabriel (later traded to Vancouver) and 21-year-old Marcos Medina (who looks interesting, but hasn't pitched above AA yet, and quite honestly, relying on Rule 5 to get you out of the cellar is like bringing a Yorkie to a dogfight). And they picked up starter Ace Young, bullpen aces Rob Miller and Armando Morales in the aforementioned Vancouver deal. Young is a league average kind of guy, a good placce holder if nothing else. And Morales was brilliant last season before the Tommy John wrench hit his elbow. He won't be available much of the year. Miller is ... who can tell?

Walter "Flex" Garcia also came to the team through the Vancouver pipeline, the 27-year-old starter having thrown a 4.64 ERA in the EBA last year. And minor league starter Natsume Tsuchiya will be in the mix somewhere. He's been hit and miss at AAA level, but that's development for you. The test comes now.

The club also extended hometown hero in 'Clockwork' Canó for four more years at $14+M each. He'll be 35 in the last year of that deal. And they picked up journeyman 1B Yeong-hwan Kim for (raises pinky to corner of mouth) $1 meeeelllion dollars.

We're guessing it will add back maybe 5 wins. That will leave them with a cool 80, enough to climb out of the cellar. Whoo-freaking-hoo!


Tucson Cactus:

Leon Sandcastle put up 7.9 WAR last year on a +16.4 ZR and a .960 OPS, and the Cactus still won only 80 games and finished third in the division. To this team they added (drum roll, please!) $3.5M pitcher Félix González (7-4, 2.52 ERA with the EBA's Munchen franchise). One expects González will earn his chow out of the bullpen, though one suggest he needs to get 120+ innings to make that kind of investment work out.

In addition, there is some discussion that the Cactus might be changing their logo--though we have to wonder if this is some kind of illusionist's trick designed to draw fans' attention away from the lack of serious movement toward building a division title winner. Perhaps it will work. Tucson's altitude could perhaps mess with the brain waves of fans, especially on free beer night.

The good news is that the team can thump the ball a little, but the problem is that beyond Sandcastle and Daniel Labrie, Jr. the Cactus has pretty much no one who can be depended up on to get on base. (François Frémont can rake right handers, and 34-year-old catcher Timmy Tim Tim [absolutely awesome name] had a nice 2023 ... but the key phrase there is "34-year-old catcher" and the cleverly hidden insinuation that this was a 1-season occurrence. [ed- don't try this at home, kids ... when you're a pro writer, you can do dangerous tricks like that, but if you try it you'll shoot yer danged ear off]. Bottom line, the lineup is a little top-heavy...

...which is what I would say about the rotation, too. Cavazos and Rivera are solid, and there exists a chance that 24-year-old John Woods might hold down a slot (aside: Is it me, or does Woods' official photo look like he's explaining his latest night out with they guys to his girlfriend? "Seriously, honey, we were just hanging out at the sports bar and tossing down a bunch of Diet Dew!"). But there's a pretty big drop off from there.

Bottom line: With Sandcastle in the lineup, Tucson can win any game it plays. But the history books are not stuffed with teams that win divisions on the back of one guy. The last time Tucson won the division was 2010. The last time they sniffed the playoffs was 2012.

We don't expect it this year, either. Say 78 wins.


Seattle Storm:

The glory days of the Storm are clearly behind them, which we assume makes the oh-so-close second place finishes the past two seasons that much more painful for Seattle fans to take.

Don't be confused, though. Seattle is a fine little team, we suppose. But they seem to be just kind of stuck in Treadingwaterville. Part of it may be allocation of funds (a guy like Dong-min Chon is a dandy pitcher, but $3M for a guy who isn't saving games now seems high ... and Terrence Miller is a fireplug of a guy, and a guy who wins a little (95-84 on his career), but $13 mil for a fireplug seems a little steep. The rest of the rotation is either cheap (all under a million smackeroos), or getting old (okay, kids, here's your assignment for the week: write a 2,000 word essay on the subject of "at 35, does 'Flex' Becerra have another season left in the tank?").

Bottom line, the team looks a lot like it did last year, and last year they did not win the division.

On the other hand, they were fairly youngish--especially in the infield (extra credit essay for you today kiddoes: write an extra 500 words on "Will 23-year-old Atilio Seabra's AAA numbers ever translate to the bigs is he's playing the hot corner?"). 23-year-old first sacker Juan Escobar is a league star on the rise. At 27 guys like Jorge Rodríguez and Alejandro Domínguez should be just reaching their primes. Maybe they will improve based on pure development alone.

Here's us, though, not betting the rental agreement on our rent-controlled, high-rise apartment.

89 wins.


Las Vegas:

As kitchy as it sounds, Vegas has been the class of the division for seven seasons, taking the crown five times and appearing in the post season in six of those seven years. Don't look for much to change in 2024. The reason for this sits squarely on the rotation, which probably comes as about as much surprise to our readers as news that LucasFilms, Inc (TM) is re-releasing Star Wars 18 later this summer.

We suspect, but don't really know, that the Hustlers play in the most favorable pitching park in the league. If they don't that makes this rotation even more imposing. Swanson (16-6, 2.34), Bautista (14-6, 2.33) are both dominating #1 kind of guys, and and Estes (11-11, 3.49) can still do a good imitation of one on a day when the wind is to his back. Morris (11-6, 3.32), converted to a fulltime starter last season, could be a #1 on a lot of teams, and it looks like the team will be deciding on a fifth starter from between Mario Gonzalez, or 22-year-old phenom Mike Bailey. Yes, life is very tough for Vegas fans.

Offensively, the team used what little cap space they had left to pick through the bargain bin portion of the Free Agent market and gather up a few useful little tools in guys like 1B William Billies ($2M), RF Milt Linares, Jr. ($950K), RF Stephan Ireland ($2.2M), but the most interesting acquisition of the off-season has to be the trade that brought them 18-year-old CF Alfredo Martínez, a guy some scouts say is going to be a LOT better than anyone ever expected.

The club won 91 games in 2023. We say that was a down year.

Look for 96 in 2024.

[recte44]

Awesome preview!

[scottsdale_joe]

Pretty pretty good review of the Frickific.

[7teen]

Nice Job!!!

Love the fact we have someone without a team writing articles. Kudos!!

[njherdfan]

Awesome!

[JimBob2232]

Well Done!

[c-mitch]

meh....knows nothing about my team. Sandcastle was only here from the trade deadline on. Same with Labrie. This team had a winning record after they were added. In other words...BIG changes were made and this is the first full season with them in place.

[RonCo]

After a tendency toward hyperbole, my naivete is my best tool. Scouts rate it a solid 70, some think it's an 80.

[indiansfan]

Thanks for the preview, but too generous on our win total.

[RonCo]

NEWSFLASH/UPDATE:

A recent news article released in this publication made the following commentary:

okay, kids, here's your assignment for the week: write a 2,000 word essay on the subject of "at 35, does 'Flex' Becerra have another season left in the tank?"

This week it was announced that Little Timmy "Chubs" McDawson has won the mega-prize associated with the assignment. He submitted an entry that consisted of the word "No" written in 2,000 different languages and dialects, including Rotokas, Klingon, and D'nebish (which he later explained is the common tongue spoken by aliens from the Deneb system).

Little Timmy will receive a baseball autographed by Becerra as soon as the pitcher's arm is pasted back onto his shoulder.