NACBA Newsletter 1/15/97

Original Monty Brewster Baseball Association (1973-1994) features, articles, etc.
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LambeauLeap
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NACBA Newsletter 1/15/97

Post by LambeauLeap » Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:37 pm

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NACBA Newsletter 1/15/96
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**HEADLINES**

Monarchs, Hustlers to battle for Championship!
Spring cleaning starts early in Marquette

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LAS VEGAS -- As we enter the championship series between Jacksonville
and Las Vegas, one team has been tested, while the other has had it
easy. One team is hot, while the other is simply playing to
expectations. And while the oddsmakers are making the Hustlers 3-1
favorites, the NACBA experts are predicting an upset.

The Hustlers had the leagues best record. With a team built around line
drives, stolen bases and strong starting pitching, the Hustlers look
perfect. They have no weaknesses. A pair of Futon's, Butte, and Betoni
make this offense go. Vincell and Clockmer set the tables. LaLoosh and
Campbell are the best pair of aces in the league. And Brewster has been
slamming the door. The Hustlers got a bye in the first round to rest up.
Then, Calgary miraculously knocked off Salt Lake. And so as the Hustlers
enter the championship round, they have yet to be tested.

Rectenwald was overheard telling Suns owner Brad Browne "See you in the
championship!" after Salt Lake was shockingly bumped off by Calgary. But
the biggest surprise was yet to come.

The Monarchs came into the championship with an 8-4 record in the
playoffs versus New Orleans and Marquette. They have played incredible.
In the New Orleans series, they held the Crawdads without a home run in
trouncing the Crawdads. Then the Suns, probably the league's best team
in the regular season, were BITCH-SLAPPED (your welcome, Jason!) by the
Monarchs 4-2. When hot, Jacksonville can be unstoppable. And they are
hot. Aramathal and Roberts have been the offense, but it's been the
starting pitching that has gotten the Monarchs to the finals. Gorton
tossed consecutive shutouts against New Orleans. Eschette, who's been
rumored to be heading to New Orleans, has also pitched great.

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MARQUETTE -- Suns owner Bradley Browne has been trashing the team
headquarters non-stop for three days since the Suns were defeated by
Jacksonville in the playoffs. And as promised in the post-series press
conference, Browne has done some house cleaning. Gone are Stephenson,
Hobbs, Becker, and Hotpoint. Welcome Jeffcoat and Monds to town. Salary
dumping has been part of it, but moving out unsuccessful players is the
main motive.

"The slobs who are gone are gone because they are slobs. How difficult
is that for you assholes to understand?" Browne exclaimed in a recent
interview with the media gathered in Las Vegas for the championship
series.

"Screw you people! I'm going to the Super Bowl to watch my favorite team
beat up on the Packers!" Browne screamed.

Well, maybe he didn't say that, but that's what this reporter thought he
heard.

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PHOENIX -- With trade offers coming in left and right, owner Sean Marko
has been sifting through the offers with a smile. Offers have been made
from Seattle, Green Bay, Las Vegas, Marquette, New Orleans and others.
Rumor has it that Green Bay may be the winner.

Phoenix has been asking for a pile of pitchers in return, and the offers
have included them. Spielmal is the main piece of the puzzle coming from
Green Bay, and Marko is very excited to be getting this talented young
thrower.

"Spielmal is an outstanding young thrower, with a bright future. He's
the rock I'll build my staff around" Marko said.

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LONG BEACH -- In a bold move, Long Beach has acquired power-hitting
first baseman Eddie Jarman from New Orleans for shortstop Jack Daniels.
Long Beach recieved one of the league's best sluggers, while New Orleans
picked up the game's best young shortstop.

"Eddie is the rock which you build a lineup around. He's the Steve
Nebraska of our offense. And besides, Jack is a lush" owner Dan Kessler
said.

"We believe, with the proper medical attention, Mr. Daniels will abort
from his whisky drinking ways to become one of the league's best
players" owner Kurt Rising slurred. "Hey everybody! Drinks are on me!"

Rising, believe to be a tequila man, says he can adjust to whisky.

"At my school, we had whisky instead of milk!"

----------------------------------------------------------------
LEAGUE OFFICES -- The dates and times for free agent bidding and the
college draft have been released.

Free Agent bidding January 25, 8:00 PM CST
College Draft February 1st, 12:00 PM CST

---------------------------------------------------------------
Recent poll of owners predicting the playoff outcome:

Hustlers in 4 0 votes
Hustlers in 5 0 votes
Hustlers in 6 0 votes
Hustlers in 7 0 votes
Monarchs in 4 0 votes
Monarchs in 5 0 votes
Monarchs in 6 0 votes
Monarchs in 7 0 votes
Matt and Jason beat each other up, and the playoffs are cancelled 14
votes
Brad beats the PC with a corndog, and the playoffs are cancelled 1
vote

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Quotes from around the league:

"Jacksonville is one tough team. If they can beat the Suns, they
certainly can beat the Hustlers." -- Brad Browne, Marquette

"The Hustlers have too much offense, too much pitching and too much
momentum to be brought down by Jacksonville." -- Ron Southcott, Calgary

"I expected to win the championship!" -- Jeff Kloes, Salt Lake

"I like Guam" -- Matt Rectenwald, Las Vegas

"Jason is just too much of a man for Matt's team." -- Amy Day, Charlotte

"I want to name my team Rednecked, Biscuit Whomping Athiests! You gotta
problem with that?" -- Haney Jones, Mobile

"Can't we all just get along?" -- Rodney King, Los Angeles

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Brad Browne
Editor, Guam Today
---
1986: Chicago Black Sox (73-89)
1987-1991: Valencia Stars/Suns (341-469)
1998-2005: Austin Riverbats/Marquette Suns (697-600)

TimB
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Posts: 250
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:41 am

Re: NACBA Newsletter 1/15/97

Post by TimB » Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:20 pm

Great stuff. I particularly like the sound of Eddie Jarman. He'd be my first signing if he's still alive. Him or the bloke from Shameless. Teetotalism is vastly over-rated in a ball-player.

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