The Brewster

Top Prospect Says "No Mas!"

January 26, 2062 -- Until last week, Elmer Jordan seemed content being one of the Bikini Krill's top prospects and a clear-cut member of the future Atoll Bullpen Korps. His fastball sat at 99, and his three-pitch repertoire consisted of elite an elite fastball and splitter and a change that was considered on a path to be considerably better than average. Hitters feared him. Scouts had just bumped his projections into the stratosphere: 10/6/7/6/6.

This is the kind of stratosphere that registers in the cash till with multiple millions of dollars (see deals recently cut by Winston Morris and Enrique Aguilar).

Which is why the news that Jordan is leaving the team, and in fact, leaving the game of baseball, to try his hat at soccer--where he was at one point a standout goalkeeper.

Some insiders are suggesting that, since the decision makes almost no sense, nefarious agents from Sacramento, Portland, or Valencia may have gotten into Jordan's head--an accusation that Jordan denies.

"I don't have an offer," Jordan said through his agent, Bertie "The Squirty" Myers. "But I know that's where my passion is, so any club that wants to sign me can be free to give me a ring."

The Krill released a statement that indicated the club wished Jordan well, and would welcome him back if he were to decide to change his mind again.