Off Topic
Four-Time Nebraska Winner Comes to the Atoll
June 10, 2058: Forever Land: Keeping with the already longtime (or is it simply wearisome) tradition of signing aging veterans to minor league deals, the Bikini Krill announced today that they have agreed to terms with four-time Nebraska winner Carlos Flores, who was recently cast off by the Long Beach Surfers after losing velocity quicker than Mario Andretti in May.
Yes, friends, that’s a deep reference, maybe. But it makes me smile, so it stays.
Deal with it.
“I still think I can help a team,” the 37-year-old left-hander said as he signed the deal that comes with a $75,000 signing bonus. “I’m still hitting 96 and still keeping it in the park.”
It’s hard to say how true that is, but one thing it isn’t hard to say is that Krill fans spanning the world were thrilled with the news, and immediately flocked to the team’s online site to purchase #89 Tag Flores jerseys. “I love Carlos,” said Gagari Mustaf, a NFT archaeologist from Mumbai. “And I’m sure he’ll remember that Bikini stood up for him when no one else did. I can’t wait to see him go into the hall of fame wearing one of these snazzy Krill caps.”
GM Ron Collins was elusive as to when fans might see Flores in a Krill uniform. “We’ll see how things go. There’s no timeline right now. First we’ll get some paperwork sent into the Commissioner’s office, and then we’ll probably get him some reps back in AAA just to get settled.”
June 10, 2058: Forever Land: Keeping with the already longtime (or is it simply wearisome) tradition of signing aging veterans to minor league deals, the Bikini Krill announced today that they have agreed to terms with four-time Nebraska winner Carlos Flores, who was recently cast off by the Long Beach Surfers after losing velocity quicker than Mario Andretti in May.
Yes, friends, that’s a deep reference, maybe. But it makes me smile, so it stays.
Deal with it.
It’s hard to say how true that is, but one thing it isn’t hard to say is that Krill fans spanning the world were thrilled with the news, and immediately flocked to the team’s online site to purchase #89 Tag Flores jerseys. “I love Carlos,” said Gagari Mustaf, a NFT archaeologist from Mumbai. “And I’m sure he’ll remember that Bikini stood up for him when no one else did. I can’t wait to see him go into the hall of fame wearing one of these snazzy Krill caps.”
GM Ron Collins was elusive as to when fans might see Flores in a Krill uniform. “We’ll see how things go. There’s no timeline right now. First we’ll get some paperwork sent into the Commissioner’s office, and then we’ll probably get him some reps back in AAA just to get settled.”
