Off Topic
First Round Pick is Conundrum
May 20, 2058: Forever Land: The 2058 draft selection process is complete now. All the booze has been drunk and the party horns bleated. The results have fallen around us like so much confetti on a Portland promotion night.
Kid Slugger is
Controversial PickBikini Krill insiders seem happy enough, but to be fair, there are those around the BBA world who are wondering if agents from Sacramento or Hawaii somehow managed to slip a little something-something into the bottomless gin and tonic that sat on GM Ron Collins’s desk all through the event. “Who the hell is Fernando Bushey?” everyone outside the front office asked. “And why is he at the top of the Bikini Krill draft board?”
The answer to the first question is simple. Bushey is a 20-year-old kid from Kenmore, Washington who, at least until he smokes the Krill for a couple million smackers, plays baseball for the Kellogg’s College Crispies…er…Tigers. His key skillset since arriving at the school has been hitting the long ball, which he’s done at a pace of roughly one very eleven at bats. That he’s been a solid enough college centerfielder suggests he’ll be able to at least stand out there and not be toooooooo bad. Unfortunately, that power is his main calling card, as he has poor contact skills and doesn’t run particularly well. When picturing his bat, consider him in the class of current slugger Run-ming Gui, but with a few more walks and a lotta more strike outs.
In other words, an interesting enough player, but first round?
“When I met Fernando, I admit I came away really impressed,” said Collins, smelling of gin. “Everyone around the kid sings his praises. Hard worker, really smart. He’s the kind of baseball rat personality that you just want to have on your club. I expect him to be a real fan favorite, and get even better. And with that violent swing … well … I think Bushey is the kind of force who I could see growing into the face of the franchise for years to come. There was just too much there to let him fall.”
Most pundits consider the above to be mostly wishful thinking, and one elementary school teacher in Guatemala is rumored to have given her class the assignment to back to their language model assistants and craft a Draft Report that provides a critical assessment of exactly how far down the list Bushey would have fallen had the Krill not taken him. The results will be interesting to see, but most pundits suggest the center fielder was probably best served considerably later in the first round. To some, including Forever Land Sports Network Krill beat reporter Misty Morgan, it all adds up to say that Bushey was a bit of a signability pick.
“I’m excited to have been drafted so high,” Bushey said while working to rebuild the foundation of his parents’ garage in Kenmore. “And I’m hearing what everyone’s saying about that $5,580,000 slot value being too much. It’s all really interesting. I’m not stupid or anything. I knew there was going to be money coming, but it’s not the reason I play the game. Mostly I’m looking forward to getting into a new set of teammates and playing some baseballs. I love hitting the baseball hard, and I figure if I do that enough, all the chatter will die down.”
Given his age, and the raw state of Bushey’s hit tool, team officials say he’ll probably start in short-A Port au Prince to establish a baseline. “There’s no reason to rush him right now,” Collins said. “In all, Fernando is pretty well developed, and I suppose it’s possible the power would play in the BBA now. But he’s only 20. Let’s give him a little breathing space.”
May 20, 2058: Forever Land: The 2058 draft selection process is complete now. All the booze has been drunk and the party horns bleated. The results have fallen around us like so much confetti on a Portland promotion night.
Kid Slugger is
Controversial Pick
The answer to the first question is simple. Bushey is a 20-year-old kid from Kenmore, Washington who, at least until he smokes the Krill for a couple million smackers, plays baseball for the Kellogg’s College Crispies…er…Tigers. His key skillset since arriving at the school has been hitting the long ball, which he’s done at a pace of roughly one very eleven at bats. That he’s been a solid enough college centerfielder suggests he’ll be able to at least stand out there and not be toooooooo bad. Unfortunately, that power is his main calling card, as he has poor contact skills and doesn’t run particularly well. When picturing his bat, consider him in the class of current slugger Run-ming Gui, but with a few more walks and a lotta more strike outs.
In other words, an interesting enough player, but first round?
“When I met Fernando, I admit I came away really impressed,” said Collins, smelling of gin. “Everyone around the kid sings his praises. Hard worker, really smart. He’s the kind of baseball rat personality that you just want to have on your club. I expect him to be a real fan favorite, and get even better. And with that violent swing … well … I think Bushey is the kind of force who I could see growing into the face of the franchise for years to come. There was just too much there to let him fall.”
Most pundits consider the above to be mostly wishful thinking, and one elementary school teacher in Guatemala is rumored to have given her class the assignment to back to their language model assistants and craft a Draft Report that provides a critical assessment of exactly how far down the list Bushey would have fallen had the Krill not taken him. The results will be interesting to see, but most pundits suggest the center fielder was probably best served considerably later in the first round. To some, including Forever Land Sports Network Krill beat reporter Misty Morgan, it all adds up to say that Bushey was a bit of a signability pick.
“I’m excited to have been drafted so high,” Bushey said while working to rebuild the foundation of his parents’ garage in Kenmore. “And I’m hearing what everyone’s saying about that $5,580,000 slot value being too much. It’s all really interesting. I’m not stupid or anything. I knew there was going to be money coming, but it’s not the reason I play the game. Mostly I’m looking forward to getting into a new set of teammates and playing some baseballs. I love hitting the baseball hard, and I figure if I do that enough, all the chatter will die down.”
Given his age, and the raw state of Bushey’s hit tool, team officials say he’ll probably start in short-A Port au Prince to establish a baseline. “There’s no reason to rush him right now,” Collins said. “In all, Fernando is pretty well developed, and I suppose it’s possible the power would play in the BBA now. But he’s only 20. Let’s give him a little breathing space.”
