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Bikini Front Office Pens Open Letter to Disgruntled Star
May 20, 2058: Forever Land:
Dear Wilson (Andrade),
I wanted to take a moment to let you know that I read the news leak in which you made your trade request publicly know. I certainly do appreciate the help, though to be honest I thought it quaint you thought that perhaps you were skirting around the edges and doing something rebellious. That said, I certainly hope your ploy is successful. It was good, at least, that you let every fan base in the world know you were open to waving your no-trade contract.
Here’s what I suggest your next step is:
1) Pick up the phone and call your agent.
2) Tell him to contact every club in the league and let him know that the Krill are on board with the idea of a trade, and that we’d be happy to make it happen, even for free!
3) Ask him to record each of those conversations.
4) When he comes back with the recordings, cut to the huge belly laughs.
5) Take samples of each, and overlay them into a single audio file.
6) Contact Disney-Warner-Altman, and let them know you’re willing to license them a brilliant new laugh track for their next sitcom.
Seriously, Wilson, we do appreciate your efforts.
Best of luck,
Ron Collins
GM, Bikini Krill
May 20, 2058: Forever Land:
Dear Wilson (Andrade),
I wanted to take a moment to let you know that I read the news leak in which you made your trade request publicly know. I certainly do appreciate the help, though to be honest I thought it quaint you thought that perhaps you were skirting around the edges and doing something rebellious. That said, I certainly hope your ploy is successful. It was good, at least, that you let every fan base in the world know you were open to waving your no-trade contract.
Here’s what I suggest your next step is:
1) Pick up the phone and call your agent.
2) Tell him to contact every club in the league and let him know that the Krill are on board with the idea of a trade, and that we’d be happy to make it happen, even for free!
3) Ask him to record each of those conversations.
4) When he comes back with the recordings, cut to the huge belly laughs.
5) Take samples of each, and overlay them into a single audio file.
6) Contact Disney-Warner-Altman, and let them know you’re willing to license them a brilliant new laugh track for their next sitcom.
Seriously, Wilson, we do appreciate your efforts.
Best of luck,
Ron Collins
GM, Bikini Krill
