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Krill Still Bringing Thrills
May 6, 2058: Forever Land: The 2058 season is a month old already, and still the Bikini front office is busy doing the work. In other words, just when you think the club has done everything they can do, they go out and sign big-bat Pedro "Cannon" Guzman to a 1-season, $5M deal
“Craig Hughes is a fine designated hitter, and we love what he brings to the team,” said General Manger Ron Collins. “But he’s been struggling a bit against right-handed pitching, and when you have the chance to bring a guy like Pedro in, well, I think that takes a lot of pressure off the situation.”
Superstar Joins KrillGuzman, 37, played 107 games in Des Moines last season, hitting .265/.321/.474. His 576 career home runs is #26 in the all-time BBA list.
Guzman sounded thrilled to have a job. “I’m really excited by what P. Moreau Westmoreland and the whole Bikini crew are doing out here in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I was beginning to wonder if maybe I was going to have to start selling insurance or something. But I’m looking forward to getting together with the team and seeing how I can help out. The Pacific division is really tough this season, and I can’t wait until I can really get down to peeling some shrimp.”
Um. Okay.
Fans were, again, ecstatic about the news. “we’re in a fight for leadership of the best division in baseball,” said Danny Boy Mays, a delivery service drone operator from Perth, Australia. “I love that the front office is doing this kind of thing. Every week, it’s something else. Makes it a real jolt to go to the park. I can’t wait to buy tickets to Saturday’s Portland game.”
May 6, 2058: Forever Land: The 2058 season is a month old already, and still the Bikini front office is busy doing the work. In other words, just when you think the club has done everything they can do, they go out and sign big-bat Pedro "Cannon" Guzman to a 1-season, $5M deal
“Craig Hughes is a fine designated hitter, and we love what he brings to the team,” said General Manger Ron Collins. “But he’s been struggling a bit against right-handed pitching, and when you have the chance to bring a guy like Pedro in, well, I think that takes a lot of pressure off the situation.”
Superstar Joins Krill
Guzman sounded thrilled to have a job. “I’m really excited by what P. Moreau Westmoreland and the whole Bikini crew are doing out here in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I was beginning to wonder if maybe I was going to have to start selling insurance or something. But I’m looking forward to getting together with the team and seeing how I can help out. The Pacific division is really tough this season, and I can’t wait until I can really get down to peeling some shrimp.”
Um. Okay.
Fans were, again, ecstatic about the news. “we’re in a fight for leadership of the best division in baseball,” said Danny Boy Mays, a delivery service drone operator from Perth, Australia. “I love that the front office is doing this kind of thing. Every week, it’s something else. Makes it a real jolt to go to the park. I can’t wait to buy tickets to Saturday’s Portland game.”
