Off Topic
Juárez Lost for Season
August 31, 2057: Omaha – A few days back Lúcio Juárez was the subject of a soft-ball hit-piece asking why his HR rate was so high. Today, he answered the question fully. It’s because the cat can’t chew gum and tie his shoes.
The team’s medical report sums it up: torn meniscus tendon, out for about six months.
Which means he could maybe be back in business throwing baseballs sometime in spring training of 2058. Maybe.
What the announcement doesn’t say is exactly how Juárez’s injury came to bear. For that we need Forever Land Sports Network’s Misty Morgan’s latest report, which says that the pitcher was literally attempting to chew gum and tie his shoes when the knee popped. At least we think it was a knee. Who the hell knows, right? The club has not been particularly chatty about it. So there you are. Make of it what you will. Chop, chop. Or is it chew, chew?
The league's official newspaper captured the event under the delightful deadline "Lúcio Juárez to Miss Time After Shoe Tying Mishap."
Regardless, he’s out for the month of September, which is now Officially The End of the Krill Season.
Yay team, and pass the Bazooka.
The team’s medical report sums it up: torn meniscus tendon, out for about six months.
Which means he could maybe be back in business throwing baseballs sometime in spring training of 2058. Maybe.
What the announcement doesn’t say is exactly how Juárez’s injury came to bear. For that we need Forever Land Sports Network’s Misty Morgan’s latest report, which says that the pitcher was literally attempting to chew gum and tie his shoes when the knee popped. At least we think it was a knee. Who the hell knows, right? The club has not been particularly chatty about it. So there you are. Make of it what you will. Chop, chop. Or is it chew, chew?
The league's official newspaper captured the event under the delightful deadline "Lúcio Juárez to Miss Time After Shoe Tying Mishap."
Regardless, he’s out for the month of September, which is now Officially The End of the Krill Season.
Yay team, and pass the Bazooka.
