57.096– Andrade Heats Up

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57.096– Andrade Heats Up

Post by RonCo » Sat Jan 06, 2024 12:13 am

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Fans Ponder: Could It Be the Veteran’s Swan Song?


August 28, 2057: Omaha – After spending all season alternating between lackadaisical fielding and zombified hitting, it appears that Wilson Andrade decided to show up for work in August.

“I had a conversation with the general manager,” Andrade said. “And he showed me the responses he’d gotten when he inquired about trading me. It wasn’t pretty. (Brandon) Slouck was the only guy who got the whole truth and nothing but the truth about me. So I figured I better do something or I was going to be stuck playing here in the middle of the damned ocean again next year.”

That something turns out to be a .322/.344/.424 slash line complete with three doubles and a homer.

“That really ought to do it,” Andrade said with a smile. “I’m pretty sure even GM with a contending team is beating down Collins’s door to bring me onto their teams. So really, I’m just kind of kicking back and chilling while I find out which lucky team is going to get the benefits of my $12m contract next year.”

Fans and team insiders, however, aren’t quite so sure Andrade’s eyes aren’t tuned to “rose colored.”

“I think he’s probably going to retire,” said Sweeny Meany, a shoe salesperson in Dubuque, Iowa. “Simply watching him boot grounders all day long is enough to say that it’s pretty clear his passion for the game is gone. Maybe he’ll retire, then unretire and go play in Cairo. I hear he’s interested.”

One assumes the Krill front office is dreaming.

And waiting for the phones to ring.
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