Off Topic
Bikini Front Office Doing the Work
January 1, 2059: Forever Land – At the beginning of the off-season, as Bikini Krill legend has it, General Manager Ron Collins walked into the executive suite War Room and scrawled four objectives onto the team’s old-fashioned white board, then turned to the crew and said words to the effect of “get these things done and we go to the playoffs.”
The four were:
Which leaves the top-two priorities.
Let us introduce veteran starter 33-year-old Felix Vidaca (who Collins at one time considered the most valuable pitcher in the league), and future Hall of Famer, 39-year old Jeffrey Smith.
Fans were clearly thrilled with both signings, Vidaca to a four-season deal that will pay him $60M if the team enacts that last year, and Smith who signed onto the atoll for a single season at $15M. Vidaca, who hasn’t thrown a FIP- of over 86 in four years, is expected to take that ace role, moving Samuel Nebraska down into a much more comfortable #2 role, and then letting Armando Rodriguez throw in the #3 slot. Four and five will be Francisco Ortiz and Jayden Nicholls (unless Mahmut Binark emerges from the development lab in a Bruce Banner 'roid rage and takes the slot).
The alternative is that Vidaca could find himself back in the mega-stopper role, throwing 160+ high-leverage innings.
“It’s great to have a guy like that on the team,” said manager Richard Lawson. “He can do everything and anything we ask of him. I felt my Baseball IQ go up 15 points the minute he signed.”
Likewise Smith, who comes to the team after a hop and a skip from Louisville, to San Fernando, to Vancouver. Despite turning 40 before the season began, the club is expecting big things while not putting too much pressure on him. The last time he registered less than four WAR in a season was 2051, but with young corner outfielders available, Smith will be able to take a few days off here and there.
“I can’t imagine two better guys for this team to pick up,” said Forever Land Sports Network’s Misty Morgan. “It’s almost like the front office drew it up.”
More To Come?
“We may not be done, yet,” Collins said on an interview hour with Morgan. “The way the finances are falling right now, we’re taking a lot of projections and running a series of ‘What ifs.’ While there are a lot of uncertainties, this is an interesting window for us to focus on.” When it was noted that his team is still $23M below the league’s salary cap, Collins said that he was obviously aware of that, but that he and the team’s financial office were discussing how much of that should be spent on players, and how much on infrastructure and draft picks. “We’d all love Westy (multi-trillionaire owner and Forever Land Futurist P. Moreau Westmoreland) to loosen the purse strings, but right now a lot of that is uncertain. So there’s a lot to think about going forward.”
For fans, though, that “lot to think about” is basically dreams of Smith homers, Vidaca close-outs, and deep post-season runs.
January 1, 2059: Forever Land – At the beginning of the off-season, as Bikini Krill legend has it, General Manager Ron Collins walked into the executive suite War Room and scrawled four objectives onto the team’s old-fashioned white board, then turned to the crew and said words to the effect of “get these things done and we go to the playoffs.”
The four were:
- #1 Pitcher
- Hard-Hitting Right Handed Left Fielder
- Center Field
- Catcher
Which leaves the top-two priorities.
Let us introduce veteran starter 33-year-old Felix Vidaca (who Collins at one time considered the most valuable pitcher in the league), and future Hall of Famer, 39-year old Jeffrey Smith.
Fans were clearly thrilled with both signings, Vidaca to a four-season deal that will pay him $60M if the team enacts that last year, and Smith who signed onto the atoll for a single season at $15M. Vidaca, who hasn’t thrown a FIP- of over 86 in four years, is expected to take that ace role, moving Samuel Nebraska down into a much more comfortable #2 role, and then letting Armando Rodriguez throw in the #3 slot. Four and five will be Francisco Ortiz and Jayden Nicholls (unless Mahmut Binark emerges from the development lab in a Bruce Banner 'roid rage and takes the slot).
The alternative is that Vidaca could find himself back in the mega-stopper role, throwing 160+ high-leverage innings.
“It’s great to have a guy like that on the team,” said manager Richard Lawson. “He can do everything and anything we ask of him. I felt my Baseball IQ go up 15 points the minute he signed.”
Likewise Smith, who comes to the team after a hop and a skip from Louisville, to San Fernando, to Vancouver. Despite turning 40 before the season began, the club is expecting big things while not putting too much pressure on him. The last time he registered less than four WAR in a season was 2051, but with young corner outfielders available, Smith will be able to take a few days off here and there.
“I can’t imagine two better guys for this team to pick up,” said Forever Land Sports Network’s Misty Morgan. “It’s almost like the front office drew it up.”
More To Come?
“We may not be done, yet,” Collins said on an interview hour with Morgan. “The way the finances are falling right now, we’re taking a lot of projections and running a series of ‘What ifs.’ While there are a lot of uncertainties, this is an interesting window for us to focus on.” When it was noted that his team is still $23M below the league’s salary cap, Collins said that he was obviously aware of that, but that he and the team’s financial office were discussing how much of that should be spent on players, and how much on infrastructure and draft picks. “We’d all love Westy (multi-trillionaire owner and Forever Land Futurist P. Moreau Westmoreland) to loosen the purse strings, but right now a lot of that is uncertain. So there’s a lot to think about going forward.”
For fans, though, that “lot to think about” is basically dreams of Smith homers, Vidaca close-outs, and deep post-season runs.
