2044.04 - The Long Beach Independent - That Field is F*cked up, Man
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2020 12:46 pm
OPENING SERIES A DISASTER FOR SURFERS
April 3, 2044
San Fernando, CA
The Long Beach Surfers are now 0-3 on the season, as they dropped the final game of the series with San Fernando 4-5 in 10 innings. Starter Raúl Álvarez performed admirably against a powerhouse Bears offense, allowing just 2 ER in 5 innings of work. An error by offseason acquisition Mario Barrera and an offense unable to put up crooked numbers against a mediocre staff contributed to the loss.
Thankfully it wasn't as bad as yesterday's performance, a 4-11 loss that featured two home runs by San Fernando's backup catcher Michael Garrison. Haven't heard of him? That's ok, neither had his own General Manager! Even the commissioner chimed in on a recent broadcast where he was quoted as saying, "oh my god, [this] backup catcher sucks." The performance was even featured in a recent piece by one of the BBA's most prolific writers. Disappointingly, one of the HR was hit off of young starter Ernesto Delgado who is off to another slow start, allowing 5 ER on 5 hits with 3 walks in 2.1 innings pitched.
The 4-11 loss was not without a silver lining though, as center fielder Wilson Ford hit the first of what is sure to be many inside the park home runs in Chico's Bail Bonds Stadium this season. Ford hit the ball over the left fielder's head, and proceeded to fly around the basepaths as the San Fernando outfielders chased the ball down. Ford had this to say after the game "That field is f*cked up, man. What is it, 479 feet to center? I feel like I need an oxygen tank out there on defense, and then I've got to bust my ass for an in the parker? I'll be happy when I can get back to a normal park."
When asked for his opinion of Garrison's performance after the game, Manager Gabriel Rodriguez had some colorful comments. (NSFW audio)
April 3, 2044
San Fernando, CA
The Long Beach Surfers are now 0-3 on the season, as they dropped the final game of the series with San Fernando 4-5 in 10 innings. Starter Raúl Álvarez performed admirably against a powerhouse Bears offense, allowing just 2 ER in 5 innings of work. An error by offseason acquisition Mario Barrera and an offense unable to put up crooked numbers against a mediocre staff contributed to the loss.
Thankfully it wasn't as bad as yesterday's performance, a 4-11 loss that featured two home runs by San Fernando's backup catcher Michael Garrison. Haven't heard of him? That's ok, neither had his own General Manager! Even the commissioner chimed in on a recent broadcast where he was quoted as saying, "oh my god, [this] backup catcher sucks." The performance was even featured in a recent piece by one of the BBA's most prolific writers. Disappointingly, one of the HR was hit off of young starter Ernesto Delgado who is off to another slow start, allowing 5 ER on 5 hits with 3 walks in 2.1 innings pitched.
The 4-11 loss was not without a silver lining though, as center fielder Wilson Ford hit the first of what is sure to be many inside the park home runs in Chico's Bail Bonds Stadium this season. Ford hit the ball over the left fielder's head, and proceeded to fly around the basepaths as the San Fernando outfielders chased the ball down. Ford had this to say after the game "That field is f*cked up, man. What is it, 479 feet to center? I feel like I need an oxygen tank out there on defense, and then I've got to bust my ass for an in the parker? I'll be happy when I can get back to a normal park."
When asked for his opinion of Garrison's performance after the game, Manager Gabriel Rodriguez had some colorful comments. (NSFW audio)