KT 62.70 - Des Moines announces her preferred pronouns
Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2025 1:58 pm
11/06/2062
The DMO has announced that all media coverage of the Des Moines team should employ she/her/hers when referring to the Des Moines Kernels major league ballclub. For example, Des Moines has started her offseason planning. Those are her preferred pronouns. When referring to the Kernels, the preferred pronouns are they/their/them, but you must not envision a group of women when so doing. The pronouns are stylistic and not meant to convey that the team is composed of "a bunch a girls" or sumpin," reports team groundskeep/front office manager Jibwa Smortningaling.
At least one group is opposed to the team pronouns chosen for Des Moines: "Referring to the team as 'she' and 'her' perpetuates the centuries-long patriarchal view that females are in need of care and affection, but we are neither cars nor ships" remarked the president of People For the Correct Use of Pronouns, or PFCOP, Gupta Chatterjee.
"They might not be ships," team owner Walter Wilhelm said, "but some of them sure resemble ——" (word retracted). Wilhelm, born in 1992, does not represent the views of the Des Moines Kernels, Kum & Go, or her/its collective sponsors. "The hell they don't," Wilhelm said. "I am the Kernels. I am the Des Moines. I am the one who neuters."
The DMO has announced that all media coverage of the Des Moines team should employ she/her/hers when referring to the Des Moines Kernels major league ballclub. For example, Des Moines has started her offseason planning. Those are her preferred pronouns. When referring to the Kernels, the preferred pronouns are they/their/them, but you must not envision a group of women when so doing. The pronouns are stylistic and not meant to convey that the team is composed of "a bunch a girls" or sumpin," reports team groundskeep/front office manager Jibwa Smortningaling.
At least one group is opposed to the team pronouns chosen for Des Moines: "Referring to the team as 'she' and 'her' perpetuates the centuries-long patriarchal view that females are in need of care and affection, but we are neither cars nor ships" remarked the president of People For the Correct Use of Pronouns, or PFCOP, Gupta Chatterjee.
"They might not be ships," team owner Walter Wilhelm said, "but some of them sure resemble ——" (word retracted). Wilhelm, born in 1992, does not represent the views of the Des Moines Kernels, Kum & Go, or her/its collective sponsors. "The hell they don't," Wilhelm said. "I am the Kernels. I am the Des Moines. I am the one who neuters."