Such was the explanation of the team's accountant, Dallas Fingerlicker, to JRamirez, whose eyes were begiiiniiiing to glaze over. "Just take care of it, Dallas,' JR said, "You've got until EOB. Only do it so that we can up Pablo [C Pablo Gonzáles #22] to spell Matsu down the stretch."
"Oh, I know how to spell Matsu, it's M, A, T, ..."
"Stick to numbers, and to cooking," JR said to the accountant. "And use a napkin before you start cooking. We don't want salsa all over the books."
Gonzáles, who this winter had been illegally recruited by a cohort from Denny's, has a 4.1 WAR (.323-18-79) in 112 games at El Paso (AAA). He has one option year after this. And by "spell Matsu," JR means replace Dan Davidson as the Kernels backup catcher.
"I always thought 'catcher' was a generous label on Dan's job description. The guy has a .580 defensive efficiency in 29 starts. It's hard to imagine if we won any games with him starting. In fact, Dallas, get me a readout on our game scores with hm behind the plate."
"A what?" asks Dallas.
"A readout.. A print out, A graph, something fancy. I wanna know have we won any games with Davidson behind the plate."
"You mean, you don't know?"
"No. I don't know," JR says, "I've been recreating Shackelton's Antarctic expedition all summer."
"Ah shit, JR, no wonder we haven't heard from you all season. How did it go? Get lost in an ice flue?"
"Did my eyes flew? Ta hell you mean?"
"I mean, how realistic was your recreation?" Dallas Fingerlicker says. "Did you live on the Endurance for some months?"
"Live on it? Da hell you talking about?" JR says. "I did a LEGO recreation of Shackleton's Endurance before she collapsed. Cost me an arm and a leg in white LEGOs. Hella lotta snow and ice to recreate. Finally used white Duplo bricks to speed things up."
"Yes, I would think the cost ratio of LEGO to Duplo bricks is..."
"Bra, don't have time for this. Don't you have some books to cook?"
In other Roster Expansion news, the DMO has also called up RP Max McNair (2.13 at El Paso and who's not making the minimum), 3B Hitoshi Kitamura, who was. In addition, Arnold Cantrell was transferred off the IL to the Active Roster. Defensive Specialist Rich Moore had been called up a week ago.
Tally after Dallas's massaging (aka what our Roster Expansion Day export says):
