He Who Walks Behind the Rows - Vol 5 Ep 1

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FuzzyRawley
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He Who Walks Behind the Rows - Vol 5 Ep 1

Post by FuzzyRawley » Sat Mar 06, 2021 10:09 am

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He Who Walks Behind the Rows Vol 5 Ep 1

The Kernels are in their predictable location in the Heartland Division standings for this time of year, 10-21 and 7th place. For a brief period of April, it looked like this club would be competitive, even giving the Black Sox a split series. But mixture of 1-run losses and straight shellackings against the Heartland powerhouses has left them shell shocked.

The good news coming out of the clubhouse is the Kernels is signing of 1B Juan Mateo to an extension. Mateo was due to hit free agency at the end of the season and GM Webb swooped in when owner Stephen Collins Jr wasn’t looking and raided the cash jar. Mateo walks away with a tidy 2-year, $16.6 million deal. Kernels fans are justifiably happy to see the club make a move to solidify the team for future seasons.

This leads to the second bit of positive news in Des Moines. Fans, upbeat about the retaining of Mateo, have started to return to the ballpark. Despite another annual ticket price increase, attendance is up 10,000 fans per game, which is undoubtedly helping out the future revenue projections for GM Webb. Whether the fickle fans stick around all season, is another guess.

With that in mind, the Kernels have launched a series of promotions aimed at drawing fans to the park. A (tentative) schedule was released by the front office today.

May 11 vs Seattle – Gen X night. Come to the ballpark broke and in your most sullen attitude that you are the first generation that will likely make less than your parents.
May 29 vs Portland – Antifa night. Find a cause, get real mad, wear your best gas mask.
June 17 vs Vancouver – Canadian Tuxedo Night
July 2 vs Madison – Come wearing whatever, cause we have no idea what Madison is known for.
July 21 vs LBC – Cheap weed night in honor of Snoop Doggy Dog
Sept 6 vs Omaha – Dress as a hick night, cause Omaha has way more hicks than Des Moines!
:cool: They say it don't be like it is, but it do!

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Re: He Who Walks Behind the Rows - Vol 5 Ep 1

Post by usnspecialist » Sat Mar 06, 2021 10:23 am

given that i am probably the only one in this league who has spent meaningful time in des moines, i can assure you there are minimal hicks there as it is the only city of any note in Iowa.

Also, antifa night for portland made me chuckle.
Randy Weigand

Havana Sugar Kings/San Fernando Bears: 32-50 (1608-1481)
Des Moines Kernels: 52-

League Champion- 34
JL Champion- 34
FL Champion- 36, 37
JL Southern- 34
FL Pacific- 37, 39
Wild Card- 33, 35, 36, 40, 43

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Re: He Who Walks Behind the Rows - Vol 5 Ep 1

Post by CTBrewCrew » Sat Mar 06, 2021 8:46 pm

In Madison we are know for a city of these guys...



Make it Dewey Oxburger night.
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