The Outlaw Chronicles 2045-11 What the hell happened?

[bigmike13]

What the hell happened?

GM Calvaruso addressed his management team in a closed door meeting "No, I really need to know, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"
" I give you Fuckers the keys to a Maserati, a team coming off of a Landis title, and all I see is you guys fiddling while the team burned down around you like Nero". "This disaster was on par with the 1788 Austrian Army attacking itself and killing 10,000 men".

"Somebody better have an explanation and God help you if it is a shitty one".

Manager Cameron Fookes cleared his throat and began "Well Mike, lets break it down and look things over".

"I would have to say things begin with the collapse of our bullpen. Last years Closer, Augate Balun could not repeat his championship play having a 2-5 record with 16 Saves but a 5.35 ERA before he was traded to Brooklyn, and the guy we have been grooming to take over as Closer, Luis Pina, didn't fare much better going 3-4 with 15 Saves and a 4.84 ERA and 7 blown saves".

"Last years 15 Games winner, former starter Francisco Cardona, struggled mightily to start the year and was eventually sent to the pen which turned into an abject disaster. The same can be said for Luis Pasillas who seems to have really lost some movement on his pitches and is giving up homers by the bushel. The best guy we had was the old man, Jorge Luna, but even he was a full Run and a half worse than last season. Our attempts to mix and match were not very successful and made any other improvements a moot point".

Calvaruso turned to Pitching Coach, Garry Stewart and glared before finally asking, "Well, what do you have to say about that". Stewart just bowed his head in shame, putting his hand on the table and cut off his pinky finger, wrapping it in a napkin and pushing it across the table to GM Calvaruso as a sign of atonement and necessary repayment for his sins.

Fookes cleared his throat again and continued " As far as starting pitching goes, the decision to trade Julio Alicea was prudent as he was ineffective for Omaha, but the vacuum created was not easily filled. Vazquez had another great year, but Ricardo actually struggled a little with an up and down season. The rest of the staff became younger and trudged through some growing pains".

Never taking his eyes off of the Pitching Coach, Calvaruso simply growled "Keep going".

"Our hitters also took a large step back" Fookes explainerd. "This was probably the most puzzling aspect of the year because we really only made two changes to the lineup and neither were considered significant offensive loses". "We allowed SS Chip Puckett and 2B Tu-Fu Yong to leave through Free Agency but both positions effectively became offensive black holes. The replacements just were incapable of picking up the slack and drug down the whole lineup. Our core guys, Cuellar, Stinson, Bustamante, and Rosas, and Moreno all did their jobs, and we even got a career year out of Fitas but just never seemed to hit on all cylinders. We ended the season 10th in Runs Scored and 11th in OBP, and with this group of hitters that is sacrilegious".

At this point, Calvaruso slowly turn his gaze to Hitting coach Ramon Hernandez, who promptly shit his pants and excused himself from the rest of the meeting.

"Lastly, our defense was weighted down with cement shoes which was obvious given our disgusting .664 and 14th ranked Defensive Efficiency and -16.8 Zone rating".

"So to sum it up Mr. GM, yes we sucked, but we should never have sucked this bad. With a few tweaks this off season I am very confident we will be back in the playoff hunt."

"You damn well better" was all GM Calvaruso could muster. "Now get your sorry asses out of my office and get your minds right for 2046, and tell that jackass Hernandez to get in here and clean the shit off of my chair".

My, won't 2046 be an interesting time in San Antonio.

[RonCo]

Sometimes you just have to dwell on the situation.

And, yeah, talk about giving someone the finger.

[HerbD]

Sounds like everyone had their career year in '44