Bandit Post, Vol 1.2/98: You're gonna want to read this.

[aaronweiner]

April News and Notes

Is Sammy Bodeen on the Trade Block?

Sammy Bodeen is one of the league's best pitchers, but as the Bandits are contending and injury-riddled and he's out for the season, is there some temptation to deal the star righthander?

"We've had a conversation about dealing Sammy Bodeen, yes, but nothing came of it at all," said GM Aaron Weiner. "We're expecting Sammy back next year."

Birmingham is reportedly waiting out Bodeen's requests for more money before re-signing him.

"We're at a bit of an impasse money-wise, but we think that we'll eventually get Sammy signed," said Weiner. "We think that Sammy makes us a better ballclub, of course. Naturally, during the season you have talks about all of your players, and Sammy, being a 25 year old ace, is one that's highly prized in the league."


Jay Called Up, No Sign of Silent Bob

Jay Anderson has finally made it to the show, and he's pretty sure that it was a long time in coming. Jay is expected to infuse a little energy into the team.

On hearing that he was called up to the MBBA after years of watching other players promoted ahead of him, Jay was very excited.

"All you motherfuckers are gonna pay," Jay said. "You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches."

Reportedly, Jay was most happy at the possibilities that being in the major leagues accorded him, especially those with his social life.

"I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me," Jay said of his social aspirations.

Jay also suggested that he would significantly raise the mood of his teammates while he was in the major leagues.

"Yo! You guys need to turn those frowns upside down. And I got just the thing for that. We call them... Doobie Snax," Anderson said, proudly proclaiming his strategy to cheer up teammates who were feeling poorly.

Finally, when Jay asked where this article would be published, he was told that it would be put onto the Internet.

His response: "What the fuck is the Internet?"

It has been reported that Jay was called up primarily because he still has option years.


Starting Pitching Key In Fast Start

Right now, the Birmingham starters have a collective ERA of 3.55, which ranks second in the FL so far this year. While there's some cause for optimism, there's obviously some concern about the Bandits' early-season success.

After all, we've been through this circus before. Alex Khodorkovsky has an ERA which is currently 2.66, which is close to where it was before last year's collapse. Hayden Finch has an ERA is at 2.43, which is where it was before last year's stumble also. However, there is one major change: Damian Bedgood has a 3.25 ERA after never having really gotten on track last season; to make the point, his VORP is already higher after five starts than it was last year after nineteen.

"Obviously, I'm feeling a lot better, I've had a whole offseason to recuperate and get myself ready, and a full spring training," said Bedgood. "I'm thinking that I'm back on track, and my teammates have noticed and have given me a lot of encouragement."

Bedgood's consistency will hopefully not be offset by another horrible second half from Khodorkovsky.

"I understand what went wrong, and I don't want it to happen again," said the Russian Rocket. "I am trying to be better this year."


Nicoletti Helping to Lead Team

Roy Nicoletti is not a natural leader. However, Nicoletti brings a quiet professionalism to the Birmingham clubhouse that had been lacking with the outspoken nature of players like Brett Favre and Jimmy Dugan.

"I just try to go out there every day and do my best," said Nicoletti. "For me, it's most important to be ready to go out there and play; that's why I go through my warmup routine."

Nicoletti's warmup routine? Before he arrives, he meditates with a Buddhist yoga. He lights incense in his locker, dabs cologne on his forehead, spins twice and eats a Powerbar. He's also distributed several books by the Dalai Lama to the other members of the clubhouse.

"I think it's the consistency of my efforts that makes others inspired to do the same," said Nicoletti. "I know that my rituals and reading help me to concentrate."


Vallejos Signed

Julian Vallejos was signed to a one-year deal for $300,000 this week. Vallejos, last seen on the Vancouver Mounties in 1996, has a career batting average of .261 and a career OPS of .727 lifetime.

"I'm happy to be a Bandit and I hope that I can help with any sort of infield issues that they may have," said Vallejos. "I'm happy being a bench player and I look forward to helping out."

[KCCardinalFan]

If Anderson gets lonely, Corey Feldman is available for cheap.

[aaronweiner]

[LambeauLeap]

Solid SP is so hard to find, I know I constantly get inquiries about Izatt and hes' not even on the block

[recte44]

Vallejos looks OLD for 32.