57.02 Owner Percolo Ridicules "Bush League" Rotation
Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2023 12:45 am
“Pop, did you see this?” asked Erik Breum as he entered the team office.
“How could I miss it? The damn phone’s been ringing off the hook since I got in this morning!” responded Bob Breum, the 104-year-old baseball lifer. “What was that fool thinking?”
Bob swung around the monitor on his desk, displaying the Montreal Gazette website and its bold headline, “Percolo Ridicules Bush League Rotation.” Percolo is the team owner.
“A while back, he came to me and said he was growing ‘concerned’ about our rotation plans. I explained our pitching philosophy, but he was worried that we had traded off, non-tendered, or not extended a number of starters,” said Erik.
“Well, if he wasn’t such a tightwad, we could’ve extended several of those guys. He wants to put the onus on us, but he refused to let us extend ANYONE at the end of the season. He gave us no choice, and now he’s going to the press and blaming us. Jackass!” replied Bob.
“He came back last month and said that he was ‘unhappy’ with our planned rotation. The season was almost upon us, and NOW he’s unhappy? What was he expecting us to do? Pull an ace out of a hat? I don’t get it,” said Erik.
“Well, we did sign Kinzo Iwamoto after that conversation. He’s not an ace, but he’s a solid starter,” Bob reminded him.
“Apparently, he was unimpressed, because yesterday he told me he was really ‘upset’ about our rotation. Would I rather run out five ace pitchers? Of course, but no team can do that under the salary cap, never mind Percolo’s budgets. He’s living in fantasyland!” said Erik.
“What I don’t get is why he went to the press now! We just won our first six games, and our so-called bush league guys only allowed 8 runs all week,” he continued.
Bob answered, “Yeah, the Gazette beat reporter asked him about that. Percolo just ignored him and ranted about how we let Boyd, Evgrafov, and Mills go for nothing. He failed to mention that he gave us no choice.”
“I would have extended Mills, given the chance, but good riddance to Boyd and Evgrafov. Both are fragile, and Boyd’s arbitration demand was outrageous.” Erik said.
“I think Percolo’s still salty about trading away Carl Vincent last year,” replied Bob.
“Well, that trade was a disaster all around. Vincent blew out his elbow and Shirai Matsumoto was worse than replacement level. Morley has been solid, and Chilcott may someday contribute as a platoon player, so you could make the argument that we came out slightly ahead,” said Erik. “People were saying that Vincent was our ace, but he was fragile and home run prone. I was happy to see him go.”
“Have you checked the waiver wire yet? I saw several pitchers that looked interesting,” asked Bob.
“I’ll look at it after I return all of these phone calls,” Erik replied. “But I’m pretty satisfied with our current staff. We’ll see how they perform on the road this week.”
“I’m delighted with the staff that you’ve put together! Now I just need my hitters to step up and give your guys some proper run support. These eleven inning games are killing me,” said Bob.
“How could I miss it? The damn phone’s been ringing off the hook since I got in this morning!” responded Bob Breum, the 104-year-old baseball lifer. “What was that fool thinking?”
Bob swung around the monitor on his desk, displaying the Montreal Gazette website and its bold headline, “Percolo Ridicules Bush League Rotation.” Percolo is the team owner.
“A while back, he came to me and said he was growing ‘concerned’ about our rotation plans. I explained our pitching philosophy, but he was worried that we had traded off, non-tendered, or not extended a number of starters,” said Erik.
“Well, if he wasn’t such a tightwad, we could’ve extended several of those guys. He wants to put the onus on us, but he refused to let us extend ANYONE at the end of the season. He gave us no choice, and now he’s going to the press and blaming us. Jackass!” replied Bob.
“He came back last month and said that he was ‘unhappy’ with our planned rotation. The season was almost upon us, and NOW he’s unhappy? What was he expecting us to do? Pull an ace out of a hat? I don’t get it,” said Erik.
“Well, we did sign Kinzo Iwamoto after that conversation. He’s not an ace, but he’s a solid starter,” Bob reminded him.
“Apparently, he was unimpressed, because yesterday he told me he was really ‘upset’ about our rotation. Would I rather run out five ace pitchers? Of course, but no team can do that under the salary cap, never mind Percolo’s budgets. He’s living in fantasyland!” said Erik.
“What I don’t get is why he went to the press now! We just won our first six games, and our so-called bush league guys only allowed 8 runs all week,” he continued.
Bob answered, “Yeah, the Gazette beat reporter asked him about that. Percolo just ignored him and ranted about how we let Boyd, Evgrafov, and Mills go for nothing. He failed to mention that he gave us no choice.”
“I would have extended Mills, given the chance, but good riddance to Boyd and Evgrafov. Both are fragile, and Boyd’s arbitration demand was outrageous.” Erik said.
“I think Percolo’s still salty about trading away Carl Vincent last year,” replied Bob.
“Well, that trade was a disaster all around. Vincent blew out his elbow and Shirai Matsumoto was worse than replacement level. Morley has been solid, and Chilcott may someday contribute as a platoon player, so you could make the argument that we came out slightly ahead,” said Erik. “People were saying that Vincent was our ace, but he was fragile and home run prone. I was happy to see him go.”
“Have you checked the waiver wire yet? I saw several pitchers that looked interesting,” asked Bob.
“I’ll look at it after I return all of these phone calls,” Erik replied. “But I’m pretty satisfied with our current staff. We’ll see how they perform on the road this week.”
“I’m delighted with the staff that you’ve put together! Now I just need my hitters to step up and give your guys some proper run support. These eleven inning games are killing me,” said Bob.