Monty Brewster’s Montré-Booster: Tapia
If there’s one thing RAMJACK likes, it’s throwing money at GBC players in the mistaken understanding that this will mean they don’t lose compensation picks. This year’s chosen soul is Ricardo Tapia, a right-handed starter from Paraguay**, who signed a £26 million 3 year deal, with enough options and opt-outs that no-one is under any illusion he’ll still be there at the end of it.
Tapia has four good pitches and two years of success in the offensively offensive Global Baseball Consortium, where his 2051 year saw him win the Pitcher of the Year Award with a 4.02 ERA and 12 wins in London, and 2052 saw another top-10 finish in WAR, this time in the sunnier climes of Sydney. He threw a no-hitter in AA and rose to the top 25 of UMEBA prospects. He has missed some starts with elbow problems. He is apparently “seldom outwitted”, which seems to be broadly speaking a good thing. In short, he exists.
With the rest of Montreal’s rotation being dirt cheap, there was some concern there might be unrest that the new guy is getting the moderate bucks. The current pencilled-in rotation 1-5 cost £4 million in salary, less than half of what Tapia is grossing for a single year. Luckily, executif coach Stan H. Stansman was on hand to point out that “occasionally lefty setup guy Carlton Casson is pulling down even more, and he’s completely disgraceful at throw-ball”, so that’s probably fine then.
Ricardo Tapia, even looks dull
**RAMJACK Foreign Exchange thoroughly reject the idea that they needed to get money out of South America following their disastrous stewardship of Sao Paulo. "Financial liquidity is important", said a spokesman, "to ensure we can keep exporting the drugs".
2053:1 Monty Brewster’s Montré-Booster: Tapia
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Re: 2053:1 Monty Brewster’s Montré-Booster: Tapia
That boy gets made fun of by white bread.
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-- Vic Caleca Team News Award Winner 2052
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— The Heartland Sucks
-- Pacific Champs 2040, 2042, 2043, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2051, 2053, 2054, 2058
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour.
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