51:ST3 - Monty Brewster’s Montré-Booster: Rising Expectations

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51:ST3 - Monty Brewster’s Montré-Booster: Rising Expectations

Post by datom25 » Mon Sep 05, 2022 2:26 pm

Monty Brewster’s Montré-Booster: Rising Expectations


The following was located on the back of a napkin in a RAMJACK House of Donuts*, at the foot of a bar stool once occupied by Executif Coach Stan H. Stansman.


C – Adalgiso Bosendorfer
Expressively named bosendorfer, a high contact/gap RHB with good defence beats out Jake Rising, who is almost exactly the same, and who himself is almost exactly the same as his potential replacement in AAA. Probably didn’t need to sign Bosendorfer, then.

1B – Eric Wignes
There are no words that strike more fear into the hearts of baseball fans than the words ‘first baseman known for his defence and contact skills’. Switch-hitting Shakespeare, as Eric Wignes is known, has produced somewhere between .758 and .778 OPS these last three years.

2B – Lineu Aldo
Aldo returns to his 2B role where he not featured regularly since 2044. It’ll be interesting to see if Lineul can keep up production at age 32 and in a critical position. The improbably paid Coy Skinner lurks on the IL until August.

3B – Eduardo Gonzalez
Montreal’s favourite Mexican, Gonzalez will retain the role as face of the franchise and potential All-Star/millstone contract that all middling teams need.

SS – Dick Walton
Walton was the big free agent pickup, offering plus defence and occasional OBP from the SS post following the human highlight reel Jose Mendez’s transition to automatic out machine last year.

LF – Fuad Demeril
Turkish delight Fuad Demeril will have the majority of starts, with Peter Crocker smashing the lefties when the schedule allows. Crocker smashing probably has a pun in it somewhere.

CF – Pedro Rosales
Pedro Rosales beats out defensive specialist Varnick Tuncay, our second 2nd Turkish outfielder – Rosales has the nickname of Dragon, which is probably a team news at some stage

RF – Juan Rodriguez
Rodriguez is in the field baby! Well, him or third Turkish outfielder Ulvi Basgil, who will platoon as Rodriguez is frankly appalling against lefties.

DH – Carlton Casson/Jake Rising
If one thing screams championship-winner, it’s a DH platoon of lefty setup guy and back up catcher.


On the back of the back of the napkin, or the front of the napkin if you want to get technical, the words I AM SORRY were written in Sharpie.


Image
Jake Rising, oft-mentioned, not-good


*RAMJACK House of Donuts is a restaurant/diner in all the best retail parks. If you are interested in a house made of donut and/or other forms of cake product, please consult RAMJACK Novelty Dwellings.
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