“You want to what?” he said dumbfounded as he stared at John Percolo, his boss and the owner of the Montreal Blazers baseball club.
“I want to open 2044 with a new baseball Stadium!” the 73 year old Percolo repied.
“John, you just built this stadium last off season. This is a new stadium. The office we are standing in is in the new stadium!” DeSpain rebutted.
“I know but we made one big mistake last season when we opened this new stadium,” John explained.
“What was that?” DeSpain fired back.
“We didn’t tell anyone we had a new stadium.” Percolo answered.
Stunned DeSpain fell silent for what seemed like an hour but was probably just a few seconds before he blurted out “I think they noticed!”
“You don’t get it Herb,” John continued as if DeSpain had not spoken at all. “We didn’t do it right by the league last season and the last GM left some things unfinished and we need to pretend it just never happened.”
“I know I’m new to the Brewster Baseball Association John, But you want me to pretend like this team didn’t just play a full season in this brand new stadium?”
“That’s exactly what I want you to do, Herb.” Percolo replied with a huge smile. “Now you are getting it. You know how stores are always moving stuff around and telling everyone they are having a Grand Re Opening? That is what needs to happen here. Flip the clubhouses, swap first and third base. I don’t care how you do it, just get it done.”
“Anything else John?” DeSpain said sarcastically.
“You need to convince the players.” Percolo explained.
“How am I supposed to do that?” asked DeSpain, stunned again.
“That’s for you to figure out. That’s why I pay you.” Percolo said sternly as he began to leave the room.
Dripping with sarcasm DeSpain yelled “Anything else, JOHN?”
“Yeah, as a matter of fact there is.” John shot back. “I want the dragon painted on the outfield, you do that, and no one will know it’s the same ball park!”
Hours later DeSpain entered the Blazers clubhouse where it was locker clean out day. He motioned for everyone to gather in the meeting room so he could address the team.
“Everybody gather around.” he shouted. “I have some news to tell everyone.”
Immediately the hand shot up from the back of the group. It belonged to 6’ 10”, 250 pound reliever Yoshitoshi Otat. Before the Japanese born pitcher could start his sentence the silence was broken by a visibly upset DeSpain.
“No Yoshi,” he screamed. “We are not putting an ice cream machine in the clubhouse. You made $3.9 million this year, go buy yourself a Dairy Queen.”
Otat’s arm and head dropped in unison at the public shaming.
“What I need to tell you,” he paused in the middle to draw the strength to finish the sentence. “What I need to tell you is that we will be opening a new stadium next opening day!”
You could visibly see the confusion as the announcement settled into the brains of the team. The room was silent as the players just looked at each other in dismay.
Finally 34 year old veteran Joe Whitaker spoke up, “Mr. DeSpain…I know you are new to Montreal but I think someone forgot to tell you that his stadium is brand new.”
“I know it is Joe,” DeSpain explained. “It’s part of the reason I took this job.”
“I guess we just don’t understand,” shot out catcher Eric Fabre. “We are getting another new stadium?”
“No, this is the new stadium…and it’s the old stadium.” DeSpain mumbled. “I’m just not sure how to explain it to you but I’ll try. Mr. Percolo forgot…”
DeSpain was immediately cut off by the sound of several players shouting at him “Wait, wait, wait.” They all said. “We understand! That dudes crazy…we think he’s losing his mind.”
“One day in the middle of the season, during the seventh inning stretch,” reliever Jesus Lopez began to tell a story. “Mr. Percolo was standing on the field looking into the bullpen holding a bag of pop corn. He was looking at all of us like he was at a zoo and we were a bunch of monkeys.”
“So…I don’t need to say anything else?” DeSpain asked.
“No,” said 33 year old Mons Raider in his thick Scottish accent, wearing a kilt and polishing his bagpipes. “When it comes to Mr. Percolo we all understand.”
“That’s great!” DeSpain said in relief. “I thought this would be a lot harder to explain.”
As the crowd began to disperse and go back to cleaning out their lockers DeSpain shouted “Wait, one more thing!”
Thirty heads turned in unison with all eyes on their newly hired GM.
“We are gonna paint a dragon in centerfield!!”
The players took a second to take it in and as they once again began to disperse they all started to nod their heads up and down and you could here them saying “cool, a dragon, cool!” as they slowly left the meeting room.
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The new/old stadium will be a pitcher’s dream and a home run hitters’ nightmare.
It will hold 45,000 Blazers' fans and have a retractable roof for those warm, summer games. The field will be grass and the walls will be covered with ivy year around. Schwartz’s Deli will be featured on each baseline concourse with Smoked Meat Sandwich as their specialty. Pub BreWsky will have a limited seating bar on the concourse behind home plate where the pre and post game TV shows from ESPN8: The Ocho will take place.
BallparkFactors
<factor value="0.896">avgLHB</factor>
<factor value="0.897">avgRHB</factor>
<factor value="1.162">doubles</factor>
<factor value="1.080">triples</factor>
<factor value="0.823">hrLHB</factor>
<factor value="0.826">hrRHB</factor>
<factor value="0.897">Average</factor>
<factor value="0.819">Home Runs</factor>
BallparkDimensions
<dimension height="10" distance="352">Left Field Line</dimension>
<dimension height="10" distance="384">Left Field</dimension>
<dimension height="10" distance="401">Left Center</dimension>
<dimension height="10" distance="403">Center Field</dimension>
<dimension height="10" distance="402">Right Center</dimension>
<dimension height="10" distance="378">Right Field</dimension>
<dimension height="10" distance="354">Right Field Line</dimension>
