"Herb DeSpain is our man and we stand behind him 100%!!" Montreal Blazers owner John Percolo shouted to open the team's press conference.
"Why?" was the most heard word from the press corp as they shouted back at the 73 year old.
"Because the league office said he had to be," replied Percolo calmly. "We think he's more John Callahan than Zach Grant!" referring to past Blazers' general managers.
Clearly frustrated, Percolo, former CEO of the Power Corporation of Canada has made this same announcement for the third offseason in a row. "We think he'll be around for more than one or two seasons and hope he's here for a long time. I'm too old to worry about hiring people every winter, that's the general managers job."
"I'm here to stay," said DeSpain as he began his portion of the press conference. "I got the call from the BBA offices, I mean Mr. Percolo and I was excited about the opportunity."
"I have two questions Mr. DeSpain," yelled an 18 year old Olivia Roy from the Montreal Mirror. "Why did you pass on the Valencia job and can you sponsor our newspaper?"
"I can't give you an answer for question number two just yet but I can address question number one," DeSpain replied. "I wanted to finish the season in Libyan and I just hoped another opportunity would come up. It did and I'm happy to be talking baseball in the land of sun of fun known as Montreal"
"Pepper Brooks, ESPN 8: The Ocho! Mr. DeSpain, you just finished a miserable season with a UMEBA expansion team in Libya. What makes you qualified to be a general manager in the great Brewster Baseball Association?"
DeSpain stared at the podium for a few seconds as if he was doubting himself just as the press was obviously doubting him. He slowly raised his head and locked eyes with Pepper Brooks and said, "First of all Mr. Brooks...can I have your autograph? And to answer your question...I've seen Moneyball like a million times!"
