Monty Brewster’s Montré-Booster PreSeason: 4 out of V

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datom25
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Monty Brewster’s Montré-Booster PreSeason: 4 out of V

Post by datom25 » Thu May 25, 2023 1:27 pm

Monty Brewster’s Montré-Booster: 4 out of V


PICK 1 – Abakada Angosisye
Abakada is the kind of slugging first basemen you don’t want within a mile of your own first base, except on offence, when he probably doesnt get there. As that role is already likely to be filled by other players that should never be allowed to try to catch the ball (HELLO MATTHEW REILLY) it’s not a need. Shout out to Abakada though for his time at the Hebrew Hammers when they were run by the shadowy League Control 2*. There is the slight suggestion the Blazers list was assembled in alphabetical order.

Home by: CHRISTMAS. He’s already gone. Sorry everybody.

Pick 2 – Chris Cota
From Phoenix comes Cota. When rosters expand to 29, he’ll be the perfect sixth outfielder – decent at the corners, can play centre semi-regularly, and isn’t able to hit to a major league level. Scouts inform us that Chris is “always willing to do his part”; it’s just a shame that most Brewster teams are not willing for Chris to do that, and actually the fact they need Chris is a kind of stinging rebuke of their entire recruitment policy.

Home by: MID-SUMMER, when something happens to cause management to consider starting Cota, which leads to a flurry of trading.

Pick 3 –Pankratz Isekenmeir
Oh my, an ex-major league star! This Bavarian banked north of $80million across almost 6000 big-league at-bats, 11 of those seasons in Phoenix. Creeping towards the end of his career, Isekenmeir has one last shot at the big-time. He’s got a gun of an arm – but almost a literal howitzer, in that is virtually useless for fielding the ball in any other way. You never know though – a key injury in Spring and Pankratz might be in line for a starting spot on opening day.

Home by: EASTER. I didn’t mean that last bit.

Pick 4 – Gary Robertson
What? This guy’s quite good! Having spent some disaffected youth to pick up a right-handed first basemen, at the back end of the Rule 5 Montreal picked up a a younger, handsome-r version – he’s won a Landis! He’s won some AA trophies! He can play second! And third! He’s a leader in the locker-room! He has contributed 0 WAR in his major league career! This guy has Blazers written all over him.

Home by: NEVER. Better get used to poutine, Gary!

ImageGary Robertson - V for Victory, 0 for WAR


*RAMJACK Acquisitions and Mergers are keen to stress that League Control 2 was absolutely not a sham corporation created by RAMJACK Acquisitions and Merger to acquire the Jerusalem Hebrew Hammers, and if it was, well, it was nothing to do with them.
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