Sticking Points 2035.11: Snow God Can't Rap, But Can Pitch

[aaronweiner]

One of the more amusing storylines of the offseason was Robbie van Mierlo's failed rap album. Graced with the rhythm and poetry of van Mierlo, one would suspect he was trying to not just give up pitching for music, but altogether. However, the opposite was clearly true, as van Mierlo, through a third of the season, leads the Johnson League in WAR and is looking every bit like the first round pick he was several years ago. Instead of interviewing van Mierlo, however, we decided to use only his rap lyrics as his quotes.

"I'm a first round draft choice/you know I'm gonna make noise/hanging with my homeboyz/them bitches gotta have mois," rapped van Mierlo in "First Round Draft Choice." "My name is Robbie/and I got a hobby/I like to sit in the lobby/and have them suck on my knobby."

Clearly van Mierlo is appreciative of his own talents. He should be: the righty touches 98 MPH on the gun, has three solid out pitches and has allowed just two home runs in 72 innings. While none of his other numbers (5-4, 3.72 ERA, 50/23 K/BB ratio) look amazing, van Mierlo has been rock solid.

"I'm looking up now/gonna take a bow/gonna be super great and how/gonna wow," rapped van Mierlo in "Super Great." "I got a big stack/and I like to snack/on the other team I pack/on the pounds like a mack."

The righty is in just his second season in the BBA, and at just age 22 might have some more growing to do, especially as a rapper. He has progressed quite a bit over last season, where he went 9-10 with a 5.18 ERA in his first action. We'll let van Mierlo describe it.

"I'm a rookie sensation/all up in your back nation/your body's elation/my noble occupation," van Mierlo rapped in "My Noble Occupation." "I take one for the team/like a laser light beam/my new shoes they gleam/and I'm up in your seam."

Hopefully, this season portends more success for the righty, even while his rap career, well, we'll quote James Blunt here: "He's got an orchard full of plums in his mouth and a silver spoon stuck up his arse."

(Come on. You knew I was going to do SOMETHING with that.)

[RonCo]

Awesome.

[jiminyhopkins]

So this is one of those sucker MC's the Beastie Boys and RUN DMC were always talking about.