61.9- How Much Tequila Did I Drink Last Night?

[chicoruiz]

It seems strange, I suppose, to have a big team party after being eliminated from the playoffs, but I just couldn’t resist. After all, this team has been down so long that the mere fact that we made the postseason at all put a spring in my step that even the subsequent dismantling by Montreal couldn’t diminish.

So I rented a ballroom at one of the nicer Atlantic City hotels, invited the players and the staff (no spouses, please), and prepared to celebrate the Gamblers finally turning from an ugly duckling to a swan. In the course of the evening, however, I may have celebrated a bit too much. I was left the next morning with a feeling that a small animal had slept the night in my mouth, and a few disjointed memories of the night before. For instance…

1. I remember making a heartfelt speech thanking the players for their performance, but ending it abruptly when I was unable to correctly pronounce “Okyay Nisanci”; trying so many times that I finally had to be removed forcibly from the microphone.

2. I remember promising retiring catcher Hollis O’Hara either a coaching job in the organization, or that I would marry his cousin. I forget which; I may have to do both.

3. I remember attempting to slow dance with one of the waitresses, an act she did not appreciate since she was carrying a trayful of drinks at the time.

4. I remember being removed from the ballroom in a wheelbarrow, singing a medley of show tunes all the while.

5. I remember after being dropped off in the room I had rented for the evening, attempting to take my pants off over my head. Fortunately no one was there to witness that, although I had invited a number of women I met in the lobby to accompany me upstairs, without success. Perhaps the sight of a man in a wheelbarrow does not have much of an aphrodisiac effect…

What is in that tequila stuff, anyway? If this team makes it to the postseason next year, any celebration we have is going to be strictly hot dogs and soft drinks. The players may complain, but anything is better than waking up with the notion that your head is bobbing up abnd down against the ceiling like a runaway Mylar balloon…

[RonCo]

Next year ... TELIQUA!

[trmmilwwi]

ummm... which show tunes exactly?!