56.15-Under the Boardwalk- The Dead Zone

[chicoruiz]

Yep, this is The Dead Zone.

My team isn’t going anywhere. The trade deadline is past, not that anyone would want what I have to trade. I have no hot AAA prospects to audition. I’m right at the top of my budget (a bit over it, actually), so I can’t sign any free agents. I did claim one guy, Kevin Myers, on waivers, and he’s doing okay, but that’s about the extent of my activity for the last two months of the season.

So I come to work every day, and sit at my nice desk in my nice new GM’s office in my nice new stadium, and I do… basically nothing. I do pay a lot of Freecell; I win at that a lot more often than my team wins on the field. Anything to take my mind off the season.

Sometimes people walk by my office, and I have to pretend I have something to do, so I type assiduously at my keyboard. I try to create the impression that I’m writing some report or devising some grand offseason plan, but usually it’s just goofing around. Lately I’ve been killing time composing limericks about the many disappointing players on the 2056 Gamblers. Here’s one of my first efforts, about pitcher Eddie Armstrong:

There once was a pitcher named Eddie,
I signed ‘cause I thought he’d be steady,
But when the games started,
I cried brokenhearted,
“Your arm is as limp as spaghetti!”

That’s not really fair; Eddie’s been bad but not terrible… Or this one, about CF Manchu Li:

I inked an outfielder named Manchu,
His bat wasn’t much- this I’ll grant you,
But I thought that his glove,
Would be something I’d love,
How did that go? Well, you can guess, can’t you?

One more:

The pitcher named Tok Takahashi,
Had never been known to be flashy,
But the last couple years,
Have confirmed all my fears…
He’ll never be much more than trashy.

If the damn Dead Zone part of the season doesn’t end soon, I’m going to have to invest in a rhyming dictionary. Or maybe take up Minesweeper…

[Dington]

Beautiful art

[trmmilwwi]

Guess with the quick offseason there is no need to take up golf.

[Trebro]

this was great!

[Krathan]

This was an enjoyable read.