56.4-Casinotes- Don't Worry, Be Happy

[chicoruiz]

“Geez, look at Chico”, said one reporter to the other as Atlantic City GM Chico Ruiz strode to the podium. “He looks happier than a pig in sh**!”

“Yeah… And unfortunately, the resemblance doesn’t end there”, countered his neighboring scribe.

“You think he got lucky last night or something?”

“Chico? Chico couldn’t get a woman if he had the Hope Diamond hanging around his neck on a chain.”

“Hey, I heard that”, called Chico from the podium, “And I’d be deeply offended if it weren’t essentially true. But enough about me… let’s get to today’s announcements:

“Atlantic City is thrilled to announce that we have reached a contract agreement with 30-year-old outfielder Lee Hogan. Lee will receive 64.1 million dollars over the next five years, although there are some opt-outs built in. We think of Lee as another solid, middle-of-the-order bat to go with Bronx Cortez and Tyler Ober, who we signed yesterday. The plan right now is for Lee to play in left against right-handed pitching, and DH against lefties, but of course that will be up to our field staff, and we all know anything can happen as the season progresses.

“In addition, we’re also excited to announce the signing of starting pitcher Eddie Armstrong. Eddie was a solid starter for Valencia, and we think he’ll be more than adequate as a replacement for the departed Ken Sproul. Eddie will receive 27.2 million dollars over the next four years.

“And now I have a trade to announce. We’ve shipped outfielder Shane Webb to Twin Cities. We hated to lose Shane- we think he’ll have a fine career- but we were overloaded at the corner outfield spots, and it was hard to see him getting the playing time he deserves. In return, we acquired two players. One is center fielder Bill O’Toole. Bill’s skill set is very similar to a right-handed version of Manchu Li, who we signed yesterday. We think the two of them can provide a center field platoon that provides excellent defense, and we’re hoping their bats will come along. The other acquisition is pitcher John Reid, who not only shares a name with the Lone Ranger, but will help our AA rotation.

“And while we’re on the subject of the minors, we’re welcoming another batch of signees to our system: AAA shortstop Eric Simonds, AA pitcher Kha’n The, and two players who will report to our short-season teams- outfielder Bobby Turner and pitcher Way-Ming Wang.

“Although I never say never, that probably concludes the Gamblers’ offseason moves. We’ll continue to have these press conferences from time, but I’m going to take a rest for a few days now. Goodbye for now, and hey…you all have a GREAT day, okay?”

The two reporters looked at each other. “Well, I’m glad that’s over”, said one. “Sad Chico is kind of a bringdown, but smiling Chico…It kind of creeps me out actually”.

[trmmilwwi]

Love that Lee got paid.