Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich
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Is Zimmer Winner Eating His Wheaties?
June 10, 2056
Theoretically, Don Keagle, known throughout the league as “Cult of Camacho,” wakes up every morning, does his stretches, and maybe checks a few late box scores before going through his morning routines. Shower, semi-shave, a few pats of DO for the BO, then dressing and breakfast.
It's always been standard for the defensive-minded centerfielder to watch video of that day’s opponents then, observing their swing and getting reads on how the ball springs off their bats. This has made sense. The “kid” is scrawny for his 200 pounds. A bit of a lightweight at the bat. He makes his living with his glove, which turned up all sorts of Diamond last year. And to all understanding, that routine has been consistent this year, too. And his defense is still solid. Pitchers, it seems, have always loved Don Keagle.
They are turning out to love him even more this year, though.
And the rumors are beginning to grow.
Did Keagle add Wheaties to his morning routine?
The guy still looks like a Sophomore weakling at the plate, but Boy Howdy, Pass the Mercy, the numbers. The man is hitting .352 this year. That’s right. Three hundred and fifty-two bananas. He’s drilled four homers, which matches his career high, as does his two triples. The man hit for the cycle against Vancouver. Add in a .399 OBP and his slash is .352/.399/.467, good for an OPS of .866 (OPS+136).
Do you know what other Frick League center fielder has an OPS of .866?
None other, that’s who.
None other.
Look. No one in their right mind thinks this is going to continue. Keagle’s success is riding on a BABIP of .432, and if that sticks something has to be looked into, right? But, for now, it’s fun to take a look at gool ol’ “Cult of Camacho” and say there’s your Frick League Puckett winner in center field!
Why stop there, though?
Maybe.
With just a few more stretches and a little extra sugar on the Wheaties, we could be talking Don Keagle for Sawyer Silk!